Hello dear readers of my blog. Yes I've taken a long break from blogging. Why? Basically because theres nothing much to blog about. Ok so I'm back, and fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, I'm feeling EMO-ish, the state where emo is too well emo to describe what i feel, but sad carrys too light a meaning.
Well anyway I've recently bought my FIRST concert DVD. YUI's Thank You My Teens DVD features her 'Spring & Jump' gig at the C.C. Lemon in Shibuya and contains songs like Rolling Star, CHE.R.RY, and Good-bye days and also features behind-the-scenes footage of the tour.
Well Listening to YUI's concert, one song caught my attention. I heard it before, but I never really got into the song. But listening to it in the DVD kinda like, well, pulled at my heartstrings. I didn't understand why at first and just thought it was because it sounded nice. So in search of the tabs i went. It was a pretty easy song. But a part of me wanted to find out what she really was singing, or rather the song lyrics. so off i went in search of the English translation to the song. And i found it.
Good-Bye Days by YUI
Translation by Ashikaga Honami
I will come now to/meet you because I/have made up my mind I want you to/hear what I am hearing/the music in my pocket
slowly I raise the volume of music/listen and you will understand
oh Good-Bye Days I feel/waves of changes are coming farewell yesterday, so long now you are by my side/making me feel warm with your gentle yet simple ways lalalala love with you...
reluctantly/I pass one of/my earphones to you so that you too/can slowly share/this precious moment
is this the way for me to show my love/I just don't know, sometimes
oh Good-Bye Days I feel/waves of changes are coming they sweep over me, alright now you are by my side/making me feel warm with your gentle yet simple ways lalalala love with you...
I wish our love/will never have/any kind of obstacles but they will come surely, won't they? when they do come/just hold on tight 'Yeah, hello! My friend' I will say with a smile pasted on my face
when quietly I am/singing this song to you please stand by me, I wish now you are by my side/with your own ways and grateful that we had met lalalala Good-Bye Days...
As expected, it was a love song =.='''. More importantly there were lryics inside which i really felt was true for how i feel 'bout Delight...o well.....update later
Edit: i'm actually feeling better cause it's like been a few hours when i completed this post
Hello 8D i just realised this is my 101st POST YAY!So now my blog is 101 post old ^-^. YAYyayYAY! My longest living blog EVER! So with that i shall conclude this blog post XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD no lah just joking =D!
Don't you just marvel at the internet? How you could be in India reading this post, but have never been to Singapore before. Well the reason I'm writing about the internet is because of the EXPERIENCCE I had on XboxLIVE. Nono this is not a paid advertorial, but rather something I'm glad to share with the world.
I jumped unto the xbox band wagon MAINLY due to Halo (yes, I'm a halo fan). Of course it was also much cheaper than the PS2 so yea. In fact my first gen xbox is still alive and kicking...if I still knew where the power cord was...=.='''
So anyway, with the advent of Hi-Def, Microsoft promptly and swiftly came out with the Xbox 360 (something which i would dearly hate them for...i mean the xbox was a GOOD system which they dumped in what? five years?) However I soon got the 360 (again because Halo 3 wasn't coming out on the Xbox system).
Don't get me wrong i'm not a DIE-HARD fan of the 360. I hate the Red Rings of Death (RROD) that has plagued my xbox for a total of 3 times!( please don't fail again) and i really hate how noisy it is. But what really attracts me now to the Xbox 360, is it's LIVE community.
Recently, I played online (Halo 3) matchmaking and i found my self teamed up with two halfdrunk americans, and a japanese guy. The half drunk americans where sprouting funny things all the time. No they weren't like VULGAR or anything. Yea but they were really funny =D and friendly too. which is why i love Video games and LIVE i mean i played CounterStrike: Condition Zero, and heck, the community ain't half as friendly as these people on LIVE.
Anyway enough ranting how awesome LIVE is....I'm been thinking about thgileD alot =S....sians ...o wellll cya guys later or something i guess?
WHAT A BORING 101st POST! RAWR
I feel like making a game review blog.....what should i do?
Erm, can I have my bill? Grande-Sized please and thank you.
Today is the day i return to school, thought i'm not feeling my 100% =.=''' (i guess i'm feeling 65-70%?). I'm still having stomach aches/pains on and off but at least i feel MUCH better than the two days before.
Anyways back to the matter i wanted to blog about today. The "inspiration" for today's post came while on my way to school. I actually heard about it a lonnnnggg time back, but now listening to some of the public views made on the air, it got me thinking. What am I talking about? Our electrical bills of course.
Singapore Power or SP (not to be confused with Singapore Polytechnic), has released several statements to several forms of media like the newspaper and radio. Heres a response given to several disgruntled customers , who had written in to the Today newspaper. It is taken from the Todayonline website (link here)
Why you’re feeling the pinch :Hotter weather, highertariffs among the reasons
Letter from Koh Puay Ling (Ms) Manager (Customer Services) SP Services Ltd
I REFER to the feedback from your readers, Yan Dawei and Claire Elaine Jerusha Devan on their utility bills in the letters, “Why the sudden surge?” and “No lifestyle change, but bill soaring” (July 4).
We would appreciate it if they could contact us on 6823 8202 to provide us with their account numbers so that we can look into their specific bills.
There are various factors that may have an impact on utility bills. They include:
1.Changes in electricity tariffs
The electricity tariffs for households have increased for four consecutive quarters from 18.88 cents/kWh in April-June 2007 quarter to 23.88 cents/kWh in April-June this year and most recently to 25.07 cents/kWh for the July-September quarter due to rising oil prices. Some customers may begin to feel the cumulative impact of the increases only now.
2.Previous estimated bill
Bills are estimated in alternate months based on previous actual meter readings. Some customers’ meter readings in April this year may be under-estimated and when the actual readings were taken in May, the bill amount would be higher due to the adjustments for the under-billing in April.
Consumption tends to be higher for the second and third quarters of the year compared to the first and last quarters due to the hotter weather. When the weather is hot, consumers tend to use more water and air-conditioning which can lead to higher energy use. Moreover, during the hotter months, air-conditioning consumes more power to maintain the same temperature compared to the cooler months.
A typical billing cycle may vary from month to month, between 28 days and 32 days. The billing period may include five weekends, which could result in a perceived increase in the bill.
Electricity usage can increase when there are more people and activities in the home during holidays and school vacations (for example, in May and June).
Customers can check if their consumption has increased by looking at the six-month consumption graph at the end of their bill. They can take the average of the two months April/May this year and compare it with February/March to see the change in consumption for the two periods. They can contact us at our customer service hotline 1800 222 2333 if they need any clarification regarding their utility bills.
Customers may also visit our website at www.services.spservices.sg and the National Environment Agency’s website at www.nccc.gov.sg for tips on saving electricity.
Well the reasons are quite reasonable, that is when you read it on paper/print. However during the radio show on 938Live this morning, some of the viewers stories really started to poke holes at some of the reasons that SP gave. A story that really got me thinking was of this lady, she had her family of 4 reduced to 3, due to the fact her child had enlisted into the army. Further more, She said her child was the person who used the most energy around the house. Hence even with the Tarrif increase and/or an increased temperature, the reduction of usage would either have made the bill increase abit at most right? WRONG! In fact, she said her bill INCREASED by a $100!Wow man.
Second Case, is of a guy. He doesn't like normal people (but he's not abnormal) check only the total amount needed to be paid, but instead he checks how much electricity he has used. well guess what? His average usage was about 400KwH but it jumped to 1000+Kwh! Now thats like a 150% INCREASE in usage!
And you wan to know the "BEST" part? These two unfortunate parties called Singapore Power, to ask for an explanation, and to cut a long story short, all Singapore Power did was sent some people to "check" on the meter, and on both occasions, they simply replied "The meter's working fine" What in the world sia.
Another point that raises my eyebrow is reason no. 2. If you gonna tell me that our bill's increase is caused by the inaccurate estimation, can i ask you guys why are you even using such inaccurate methods? This isn't exactly like a once in a while thing, but has been happening almost now FREQUENTLY!
So in ending heres a small note to Singapore Power.
Dear Singapore Power, Please even a student like I feel the reasons you give us people of singapore, are like those u give a three year old. Please get a better system because these bill hikes is absurb. with rising food/transportation/living cost. DON'T MAKE OUR LIVES HARDER THAN IT IS! Also if you gonna give the same response of sending your people to our houses to " check" our meter and eventually "find" that nothing is wrong with it, DON'T ASK PEOPLE TO CALL YOU FOR ASSISTANCE CAUSE IT'S NO HELP AT ALL! thank you. =(
Fan boy~ Hello people! Yeap, I'm still sick =/, but thank God I'm feeling MUCH better =].
Anyway I rarely become a fan of stuff. But around a year ago, I heard a song, Come Back Down, by this band called Lifehouse. I instantly fell in love with the song, and people who know me would know that i would have SEARCHED the internet for more of their songs. The more i heard, the more i fell in love with their songs and the band itself. Now, I can officially declare that I am their Fan Boy haha.
Alot of people has asked me why do i like Lifehousesoo much; why do most of the songs i know how to play on my guitar is their songs. Well, because their songs are open to interpretation, and. hence, i use it to relate how i feel. In fact i plan/have used their songs for important parts of my life. Like when Delight told me we couldn't be friends, I ran to my room and played "Blind" while crying my heart out."Whatever It Takes" probably is gonna be used when i try and fix the broken relationship between me and Delight. "First Time" and "You and Me" would probably be used for the person i like, like during her birthday and our one month/one year anniversary. Yeap. It's not because they sound nice, but for me, they hold ALOT of meaning.
Ok i better stop the fanboy rant. Gotta take my meds. see you!
Man it's been a longggg time since i got sick. And it feels HORRIBLE =(. I rather be in school today, I'm missing out on SCC activity, and sorry Seroyen, I haven't passed you my project work =.='''.
Anyway yesterday's poly day of prayer was AWESOME! Worship was great and for the first time i prayed for THAT long a time. Met some really nice people too (and of course saw a cute eyecandy =P). But yea, the main focus of yesterday was GOD so yeap didn't get any phone no. (awww =]). Anyways I'm more than certain about joing Campus Crusade at NP, Hope it draws me closer of being a worshiper, rather than just a guitarist. =]
For some reason keep thinking of Delight =S yeap even in my sick/half dying condition, i'm thinking of her =S sigh...wonder whether she would accept my apology....which i hope would be done THIS year...maybe Xmas?
Sorry for the post being like disorganised or with no purpose....my brain's still kinda dead.....soo yea....see you next time
*Added Music Player Under Performances* Yeap added a music players with tunes from Lifehouse, my Favourite band. Most songs are in their acoustic versions so blasting them wouldn't make your parents say "AH BOY/AH GIRL AH TOO NOISY!"(or at least i hope so XP) Anyway hope you like it! I would add tracks now and then but for now, here's Lifehouse! Enjoy! =)
I've been feeling LAZY nowadays, so can't really be bothered to post =/. Anyway nothing important happen so didn't feel the need to tag. Yeap I haven't been even feeling emo! i just feel...plain lazy =/. So anyway i shall blog about yesterday and abit of what happened on sat.
Yesterday was my Chruch's 22nd Anniversery. It was held on a smaller scale due to...erm reasons. The worship included like 5 worship leaders (actually 4...Matthew was doing backing only) and our chruch whole array of musical instrument; a electric and acoustic guitar, 2 keyboards, drumset, bass, trombone. Now if you from a big chruch like New Creation or City Harvest I think it's pretty normal for you guys, but my church being a small chruch rarely has sooooo many people /instruments on the stage at one time...The best part was that i was the sound engineer for that day =.='''' so yea...supposed to go chruch by 730AM but i overslept =.=''' anyway By God's grace and mercy, Worship was AWESOME, though a bit loud....
Yesterday was Clydia's last day in our chruch. She's gonna follow her soon-to-be Husband to his chruch haaha. I actually wanted say something to her but we weren't that close so i didn't dare. but i decided to type something out here :
Hello Clydia! Haha sorry this came one day late but i was KINDA shy yesterday...ok not kinda shy, I just didn't know exactly to say =/. We rarely interacted in church, mostly due to me being shy and "invisible" to alot of people. But through the little interactions we had, most of what the people said about you, being loving and caring, i can feel it too. And if through these small interactions i can feel it, I'm sure that you're full of love and care. I wish you a happy marriage and do comeback to C.O.P. haha. O and have fun in that church's ministry! haha See you Round! -Joel =D
A final thing i wanted blog about was....WEBCAMMING WITH CHERYL haha SHES DAMN FUNNY lah...as much as i want to show you the funny moments, She FORBID me to take any pics and screenshots =.=''' Anyway can't wait till we meet up to learn some of Yui's Songs haha it's gonna be a BLAST
I still see images of you around me wherever i turn, but i'm glad we're still friends, and i hope nothing will ever take that away.
LOVE. Four commonly used letters form the most important word we can ever imagine. A word that holds soo much meaning behind it, that it can save lives at times.
What is love? Can we live without it? The answer is NO! Love is something soo essential in our lives , I'm certain without it, the person will just die of love-deficiency. Ok all kidding aside...EVERYONE needs love!
However over the years, this word's TRUE meaning is ignored and nowadays people use it soo sparingly, you wonder whether the word contains any meaning now. There used to be a time when COUPLES are afraid to say it to each other (mostly the guys are the scared ones =.='''). Why? Because they know the word holds soo much meaning, and by saying it could change your life!
I'm not saying that nowadays when a friend says "I love You", it is meaningless, but rather, the word's meaning now holds less weight than it did before in the past. But what seriously irks me is that some people use it even when they dislike the person. Most of you people would have seen what i mean in real life. I'm tooo lazy to even explain.
Some people might point out that single people don't receive love. Well the love doesn't just mean relationship love (BGR love), it can come from anywhere, be it family, friends or eve a passion for a hobby. Which is why you don't see any singles dying from the lack of love.
A final point i want to make about love is that it's not always or giving/receiving, but rather a balance of the two. Also note that love is sacrificial where you have to give and take some things about your other half. NO ONE is perfect (except God...Lucky him/her)
To me I would never tell my friends I love this girl, even though i do like her ALOT. Why? Because I firmly believe that love is a TWO way thing. What do i mean? I mean, unless i'm sure she feels the same way about me, I'll never say i LOVE (the love kind of love as in BGR sense) you.
OMG that was a horribly useless rant =.=''' LOL anyway on a ending note, I would like to convey this message to anyone who reads this blog. Always treasure what you have now, don't wait till it's gone before you realise how much it means to you. Cause life is short, and you'll never know what would happen.
*Motivational Quote of the Day added in "Self-Entitled" section of sidebar!*
I recently read this in a 'Today' newspaper.
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY by Dr Bil Maier
KEEPING YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE Making friends is one thing; keeping them is another. We all need friends in our lives to keep us going, but we don’t always have time to stay close. The best relationships are long-term ones and there are a few concrete things we can do to keep our friendships alive and strong. Set aside some time to meet friends, even if it’s just for 30 minutes over a cup of coffee. When life gets busy, it’s easy to go for months without seeing those who are important to us and that can be solved by a simple call. Keep a list of special birthdays and anniversaries and don’t forget to send a card or note. It’s amazing how much it means to people when they know you care enough to remember special dates. If you’re pressed for time, try coordinating your to-do lists. Maybe you could shop together or meet friends at the gym a few times a week. It’s a great way to stay in touch with those you seldom get to see. We all need friends.
I couldn't agree more. This article really spoke to me, because I think I hold friendship as one of the most important, if not the most important,(other than God of course) aspect of my life. In life, I don't think i can imagine a person going through life with out a single friend. To go through all those pain and hardships with no one to share the burden with. After reading this article, I felt guilty. Here I am complaining how I have only a few friends, when in the first place, i never make time to see or meet up with my old friends from secondary school and primary school.
This article also reminded me of the mistakes I made, more specifically, the mistakes i made towards Delight. I let my hormones get the better of me and in the process lost a great friend. But I guess this a good life changing experience where I learnt something from losing her friendship, which is why you see me nowadays not going after a girl I like simply because i rather have the friendship, rather than confess and lose it all.
Friendships are sooo important not only because they provide you with emotion support, but also they bring joy in every single moment. A moment with your friends is never a dull moment, and with every second you learn more about the person, good points and bad points. But even with your bad points, they'll still love you for who you are. So hence I would like to thank certain friends now:
Steph, for putting with all the emo bullshit I have once in a while. Just by simply smiling you can put a smile back on my fac regardless of how i feel =) thanks gal!
Jamie, even though we might not be that close, still have to thank you for helping me keep the secret =D a moment with you is never a dull moment
Cory, thanks for being there all this years Love you mei!
Jieyu, Lemuel and the rest of the Teo brothers, LOVED and MISS the times we had in pri school! MEET up soon!
Joshua aka Kirro, haha Remember Finding Nemo? haha thanks for being my first friend in secondary school.
Alicia formerly from Nangyang Girls school, We lost contact but still I want to say sitting next to you during the last year of pri school was awesome! Hope to see you someone again!
Jocelyn, OMG haha one of my first crushes and we're still friends XDD, thanks for not throwing our friendship away.
Renqi and Viknesh, Thanks guys for making the last years of my secondary life a tiny bit enjoyable! meet up soon man!
Joyce, Hey jie haha thanks for leading me in the way of christ and listen me out when i needed
Christabel, LOL we go back sooo long! haha thanks for talking to me online recently when i was down. your insights help me make the RIGHT choice.
Jodi, thanks for still being friends
Tohru, I still cannot believe you put me in your love list <3 you back =3
Gman, new friend so don't really know you, just don't slack soo much man
To all the rest I don't have time or forgotten to thank, a very warm thank and don't be surprised if i called any of you out of the blue ok? =D
Delight, even though we're not friends anymore and theres only this very off chance you might see this, i wan to say thanks for giving me a chance to be your friend even after you knew =] and that i'm sorry I blew that chance and things are this way. Hope we'll patch this friendship back again ok? =] and to conclude this post heres video deicated to all my friends! Old, new or even those forgotten ones XDD
Sunday = chruch day for me. well today was also the day i rEALLY understand the meaning of DEADline =.=''' well bottom line i si managed to do my project finished! YAY no more project...SHYT just remebered about test/...... sigh.....student life is wel...getting duller every single second...causewe r always worrying... brain not hinking of anything to type.o yea...i posted a new cover...
sians...for some reason...i'm finding more and more things about delight...WAAA god...iwill fix the friendship don't worry! rawr brain stopped working bb
T-T am i that irritating jamie? rawr >.<'''''''''''''
DEADlines =.= whheeee.... Ever wondered why deadlines are called DEADLINES? Well it's cause it's almost certain some people will DIE trying to meet it. Need an example? well look no further cause I'm one of them haha. My AMP essay would be rushed tonight and tomorrow and i hope i would be able to finish it...Sometimes I wonder, students often say "SO STRESS!" or " school is stressful man..." or something along that line. But i wonder, isit really School/School work Causing the Stress? or the students themselves giving themselves stress?How do the students pile stress on themselves? haha ONE word, PROCRASTINATION! haha they keep telling themselves " I'll Do it Later", and when later comes, they tell themselves the same thing....all the way till like near the date line they suffer from "Last Minute Panic", as jamie put it, and hence heap a whole load of stress into their daily diet.
Anyway today was ROCKING haha. Went to Guitar lesson but today my guitar teacher wasn't there.In his place however was another cool dude haha..HE WAS GREAT very different from what my guitar teacher as in teaching style wise and such. Also seems like i'm able to relate to him better haha maybe because hes younger? Next headed back to Pasir Ris for CosFest haha Pretty COOL haha sawe a cosaplayer in a GUNDAM costume OMG it was VERY WELL DONE..will post pics once i have the time.
A relatively short post today cause i still have to do my project....yeap see you guys next time!
Sensitivity? HIGH seriously =.=''' First Off i would like to say i'm sorry for my first post of the day...my moods on a rollercoaster ride recently, esp with the situation of XxXxXx. I'm considering what Jamie and Steph said to me...actually not just considering I really believe what they said too. like there's no hope between me and her. i mean...i BARELY know her...so yea...i'll lay low...as in stay as a friend haha. yeap i feel much better....and i decided after reading Joe's Blog...I shall remain positive!
From Where You Are~ From Where You Are - Jason Wade/Lifehouse
Just felt lonely again...seems i been feeling more like this nowadays...and sometimes, i wished i was dead =(
It's true that having material posessions alone wouldn't bring you happiness...i have things that some people wouldn't dream of having yet...i feel like i'm the most lonely person int he world at times...It's not a fun thing to feel lonely...i really want at times to just die...cause i'm sure it wouldn't matter if i'm dead or alive...still i'm alive for some reason...
during times like this...I often turn to this song just to probably say how i feel? Blind too but...it cointains more romantgic elements for me...so...yea..enjoy this song D=
Today's post is titled UNTITLED. Why? because my brain is in too much of a mess to even think of a proper one. In a mess because i realised how useless i am at socializing and making friends . In a mess because I'm always losing things, be it material posession or friendships. In a mess because i have no freaking clue as to what to do about XxXxXx.
Yes I know life isn't easy and that solutions won't drop from the sky. But seriously, this is really too much for my fragile emotional self to handle.YES I'm a gentle giant, even if i don't seem that way, I do care deeply about people and the stuff they say. I try to ignore most of the comments i hear or the labels being dished out by my classmates but seriously, its the same getting shot at while wearing a kevlar vest. YES you' won't die from the bullet but still you get hurt. I've been given names ever since primary 5 or 6 but back then, the friends that call me porky WERE REALLY my friends...when i moved on to Secondary School, due to the fact i was the only EPPS-ian going to that school, i never really had any true friends, with the exception of a few people...Now in poly, it's worse. aguy whom i thought is my true friend turns out to be a mindless guy who goes with the flow. now i grouped together with a few people and labeled as gays. WELL EXCUSE ME YOU SO-CALLED "EDUCATED" CLASSMATES OF MINE. Just being different DOESN'T, I REPEAT, DOESN'T make you gay. And if you guys think it's all in good fun then you guys should be ashamed to be called educated. I'm sick of you guys doing all this kind of crap and stuff. I'm sick of how SOME of you can politely ask whether you can play my guiitar, then later on treat me like some kind of diseased person. JUST because i have more respect for the opposite sex and not STARE or talk about how "hot" is she DOSEN'T MEAN I LIKE GUYS! Just because I think differently from you guys doesn't mean I'm gay. Just because i do certain things THAT you don't doesn't warrent me any different from you guys. You guys can get hurt and sad right? WELL so can I! You guys can get angry right? I' m no FREAKING DIFFERENT. It's sad how people like me and a few others get critised because of our looks, the way we do things, and how we think. Hey we're ALL human beings and have EMOTIONS ok. Cause seriously all the "behind the back" talking or straight on labeling of me and my friends is making me very pissed. "so what if i'm pissed?" might be going through some of my classmate minds (i can think of a few...) if they read this ...well remember the saying "never poke a sleeping dragon in the eye"? i suggest u listen to it.
I envy David ( YES David from FOC) I mean even with all his bad points (drinking, smoking sorry david D= for saying this here), he manages to do one thing that eludes me to this day, making friends and socialising. He can be such good friends with Jamie and a WHOLE bunch of other people. Me? I'm mostly ignored by most of these people. Wonder how does he do it. To make matters worse, I'm shy. =.=''' and though after i "warm up" I can talk alot, it's the first impression that counts and being shy and all doesn't help with people's first impression of me.
Another reason why i envy him is because he seems to be able to be close friends with most of my crushes. A thing I don't think i can ever do. In fact, I doubt i'm even a friend to XxXxXx.
That concludes my post for today...a horribly long rant about my life. But what i mentioned above about labeling people doesn't just apply to me but to EVERYONE as well. ok cya
A Fresh New Start haha a very warm welcome to the revamped version of my blog haha....spent nearly 5 hours doing this or rather modding it...anyway hope you guys like the change!
well i was thinking through whether was it wise to like confess to XxXxXx....till now haven't reached a decision...I mean it's like...a part of me wants to give up so that the friendship might be saved...while another part of me keeps hounding on the fact there might be the OFF chance of her liking me...as much as i want to look at the brightside, I really can't help but feel that the brightside is too bright, or in layman's term, unrealistic...I actually don't feel like blogging much......so yea...mayb i'll update later...ciaos
It's almost impossible I know, But yet my heart says go they say time heals everything, but what if it only made it worse?
*Video of the month has changed ENJOY* : due to the fact only three ppl answered my poll i'm just gonna post another music video...PLEASE LIKE DO THE POLL NEXT TIME HAHA o and also my johari window CLICK HERE
Well title pretty much sums up this posts sorry to whoever reads this blog for not posting, sorry to steph for being paraniod...I really haven't been myself lately...why? a combination of lovesickness, lack of sleep, and my own imagination. I think i'm goin crazy =S...It's another one of those times where I feel so small, so insignificant in this world. With no purpose or like ANYTHING. that really gets me sad inside cause now i really don't have any dreams....ok mayb except maybe getting in a band...which explains why i been practicing mor eon Skye and Lyla.
Well I have been talking to my godsis recently and i realised that, I too see a girl's looks. As in i mind if my future half is VERY ugly..=_=''' ok i'm not being what here but seriously as much asi don't want ot believe it, it's true...I have this feeling this girl (one year older) has feelings for me cause she litterally says hi everytime i go online =_='''. she's good for a friend but seriously i would not like accept her mainly because of her looks....=_=''' not disrespecting any boyfriends with somewhat "ugly" girlfriends, cause 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. But though i say i look at looks it doesn't mean when i see a pretty girl i stare, cause i seriously find that rude ( though girls or guys for that matter, if u see me staring at you i'm trying figure out who you are in my head cause you look familier), neither do i rush to that girl and ask for her no. . I find myself only liking those that are kinda or already my friends....so yea =.='''
Maybe thats the reason why i NEVER get a girlfriend? my standards are too high? My crushes on Delight and now XxXxXx are most likely impossible...i mean if i won't accept a girl who i don't find attractive, it must be the same for them too right?then another reason that my god sister said was my height...and the way that i look...what i mean? well i'm freaking 1.8+ metres tall and hence i easily tower over MOST people, even women in high heels. i mean girls want tall dark and handsome but i'm just too tall for most girls to like me i guess =/ which brings the saying " too much of a good thing is a BAD thing." Somemore i'm not exactly handsome (heck chuck me in the bargin bin where the slightly below average guys are placed), hence my height right now is a BADDD thing...
Another thing that makes me wonder is whether or not i would make a good boyfriend...Which i really cannot say. I mean when I care, i DO care for that person, friend or family or even my girlfriend.however i feel sometimes i bring the caring part over the line up to the point where maybe the person i care for feels akward or to the point where it becomes almost an obssesion. I'm also too sensitive to EVERYTHING especially if the person means something to me (Which pretty much includes all my friends and family). A simple action of ignoring me would send my mind racing through all the stuff i done. Why? cause i would think that i done something wrong to piss that particular person off...and one of my friends believe i give up too easily cause i'm a strongly believe that if the person is/would be happier with someone else,I would give up faster than you can convince me not to. some have calle dme dumb for doing this but hey, liking someone (I won't use the word Love why? i explain in the next paragraph) doesn't mean you need to own it? right? cause as long as the object of your affection is happy you should be too right?
In saying that some of you might wonder why did i use liking instead of loving? that is because i strongly believe that it isn't love till it becomes a two way thing, something that I now have doubts of it ever coming true...and now i'm wondering...since XxXxXx is happy with what she has, shouldn't i feel happy too and give her up?
-17 going on 18
-1.8-something metres tall =D
-Mood swings often, at times even more than the rollercoasters.
-EPPS('98 :1F,'99 :2F,'00 :3G,'01 :4G,'02 :5H,'03 :6H),SGSS('04 :1E1,'05 :2E1,'06 :3E1,'07 :4E1),NP AT('08 :1T05)