Today's post is titled UNTITLED. Why? because my brain is in too much of a mess to even think of a proper one. In a mess because i realised how useless i am at socializing and making friends . In a mess because I'm always losing things, be it material posession or friendships. In a mess because i have no freaking clue as to what to do about XxXxXx.
Yes I know life isn't easy and that solutions won't drop from the sky. But seriously, this is really too much for my fragile emotional self to handle.YES I'm a gentle giant, even if i don't seem that way, I do care deeply about people and the stuff they say. I try to ignore most of the comments i hear or the labels being dished out by my classmates but seriously, its the same getting shot at while wearing a kevlar vest. YES you' won't die from the bullet but still you get hurt. I've been given names ever since primary 5 or 6 but back then, the friends that call me porky WERE REALLY my friends...when i moved on to Secondary School, due to the fact i was the only EPPS-ian going to that school, i never really had any true friends, with the exception of a few people...Now in poly, it's worse. aguy whom i thought is my true friend turns out to be a mindless guy who goes with the flow. now i grouped together with a few people and labeled as gays. WELL EXCUSE ME YOU SO-CALLED "EDUCATED" CLASSMATES OF MINE. Just being different DOESN'T, I REPEAT, DOESN'T make you gay. And if you guys think it's all in good fun then you guys should be ashamed to be called educated. I'm sick of you guys doing all this kind of crap and stuff. I'm sick of how SOME of you can politely ask whether you can play my guiitar, then later on treat me like some kind of diseased person. JUST because i have more respect for the opposite sex and not STARE or talk about how "hot" is she DOSEN'T MEAN I LIKE GUYS! Just because I think differently from you guys doesn't mean I'm gay. Just because i do certain things THAT you don't doesn't warrent me any different from you guys. You guys can get hurt and sad right? WELL so can I! You guys can get angry right? I' m no FREAKING DIFFERENT. It's sad how people like me and a few others get critised because of our looks, the way we do things, and how we think. Hey we're ALL human beings and have EMOTIONS ok. Cause seriously all the "behind the back" talking or straight on labeling of me and my friends is making me very pissed. "so what if i'm pissed?" might be going through some of my classmate minds (i can think of a few...) if they read this ...well remember the saying "never poke a sleeping dragon in the eye"? i suggest u listen to it.
I envy David ( YES David from FOC) I mean even with all his bad points (drinking, smoking sorry david D= for saying this here), he manages to do one thing that eludes me to this day, making friends and socialising. He can be such good friends with Jamie and a WHOLE bunch of other people. Me? I'm mostly ignored by most of these people. Wonder how does he do it. To make matters worse, I'm shy. =.=''' and though after i "warm up" I can talk alot, it's the first impression that counts and being shy and all doesn't help with people's first impression of me.
Another reason why i envy him is because he seems to be able to be close friends with most of my crushes. A thing I don't think i can ever do. In fact, I doubt i'm even a friend to XxXxXx.
That concludes my post for today...a horribly long rant about my life. But what i mentioned above about labeling people doesn't just apply to me but to EVERYONE as well. ok cya
-17 going on 18
-1.8-something metres tall =D
-Mood swings often, at times even more than the rollercoasters.
-EPPS('98 :1F,'99 :2F,'00 :3G,'01 :4G,'02 :5H,'03 :6H),SGSS('04 :1E1,'05 :2E1,'06 :3E1,'07 :4E1),NP AT('08 :1T05)