Friday, October 24, 2008
Well today's post gonna be short and simple. Feels like it's gonna be a meh day, full of sleepyness, self hatred and other bad stuff. O.o and i've a bad feeling bout today =/....Also been procastinating and not paying attn in class...shyt.... well on the bright side i'm going X08. o well shall stop here....I DID mention this was a short post. might come back and post later though...
Labels: Life Stories
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Finding my Feet Again
Today's feeling like a good day for me =D. Awesome thing feeling happy during the start of the day. Not sure how long it'll last, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts =D.
Have an idea of a song RIGHT NOW(while typing this post), wonder whether should right it down. =/ It's wierd how i feel happy about EVERYTHING now. Including when i do things that USUALLY make me depressed such as looking at 'so and so's picture/s and such. Infact seeing her face and that smile of hers just placed a smile back on mine o^-^o
I think it's God helping me. And i gratefully thank HIM now. The love i felt for music, for writing songs are returning, which really excites me what i'll be able to do.
Decided to put my faith in HIM.
Note to Gman : Dude pay more attention in class. If you know waterpolo's gonna be busy then make an effort to LISTEN. O and PLEASE let me do my work in peace THANK YOU! ^-^
Labels: Feelings, Rants
Monday, October 20, 2008
What I've Done.
Second post of the day, but had to let it out. I mean what have I done to deserve this? And seriously, whats with the hostility? Isit because once again I've been labelled an outcast and hence I'm treated like i have some sort of disease? O and stop dropping the not so subtle hints, and like talk "behind" my back, cause I DO understand what you guys mean. I'm not dumb or stupid. Blur at times though but aren't we all?Don't I have a Nose like you, Mouth like you, Ears like you, Eyes like you and FEELINGS like you? So tell me, what part of me is different?
I actually didn't have much (actually NO) idea of what to blog about. But seeing Seroyen fanboy (of sorts) over the girl he
remided me of of like just LIKING people. =.=''' Which in my case is a very depressing truth.
I never really seen myself as a likable/friendly to other people. In fact if for the fact I feel more invisible if not hated. Being sooo tall yet feeling so small is a lousy thing, and just by being tall/big sized, it adds to the misery. Best part is the small group of close friends i have growing closer. it's almost like a puddle in the desert.
Anyway seeing Seroyen go ga-ga over that girl just reminded me of things/events which i rather not remember. All the times, failing miserably, losing friends in the process, shatters my already broken heart.
I'm more than certain that there's like no one that will like me, the way i like them. And when i get my heart " broken" again in the distant future, there might not be anyone there to help "support" me. So right now, i'm sitting here, wondering, "is The End near?"
Love might be a beauty to some, a comfort for others, but for me it's like a stabbing pain, of all i did and failed. Soon i'll have to face it all alone. and by then, it's surely the end.
Labels: Emo, Feelings, Life Stories
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Losing myself, under it all.
Today's post will be brief, cause i woke up feeling bad, now i'm just down right depressed. Maybe I'm just down right sensitive, but even so, I'm slowly falling apart and i'm not sure whether i'll make it.God, you can take my belongings, my talents, my music and my personality. But please, whatever you do, please don't take my friends away.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
A Ghost In a Shell.
Hey guys, back again. yea i know haven't been posting as much as before but what can i say? i think I'm changing, for the better or worse it's still anyone's guess.
Well changing for me, is SUPPOSED to be a piece of cake. I mean it's what we as humans are most adapt at doing (most of us). Well this time, the change is different. I can feel it (x.x)
The title pretty much says everything about how i feel my change is making me into. A Ghost in a Shell, or in layman's terms it means I feel slowly something INSIDE (emotionally not physically) is slowly getting smashed then deleted away. And trust me whatever is breaking and getting thrown out, is not supposed to. I'm slowly becoming something i don't want to be.Also not helping would be my friends. ESPECIALLY some of my school friends. For some reason not really clicking with them.
Then It would appear i'm losing friends AGAIN.Out with the old, in with the new doesn't work with friends you know.
Add to this all God's frequently increasing "test" and you have one hell of a life.
God. Shall stop rant here
Labels: Life Stories
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Bummer, it's a beautiful day =.='''
You know how certain days just appear perfect? Yea today's one of those days for me. Unfortunately it usually means I would be doing something UNWORTHY to be done on such a beautiful day, and today is no exception. I'm currently in school awaiting my school's Dept. Annual Asset Physical Exercise which will begin as soon as the guy comes back from his lunch. Actually the whole thing isn't that bad, it's just that I stay almost on the opposite side of the country from my school. It's litterally East Meets West whenever I go to school. Long travelling time aside, I think this is gonna be a touch and go thing, where they like check the laptop the school soo "graciously" loaned me, and then send me on my way. that alone would take half the day (or more damnit) and the thought of losing half a day for a touch and go thing really irks me =.='''. Well at leasr there are THREE good points I can think of now.
First off. I'm gonna get Rock Band TODAY! haha been waiting for this game for sooo long >.< can't wait to try it this evening/ tomorrow morning.
Secondly, the long travelling + waiting time actually means I can listen to my beloved Lifehouse's songs.
Last and not least, school's starting soon. So there be less mundane days. I hope >.<
Shall stop here haha I'm guessing the school's staff is back for the Dept. Annual Asset Physical Exercise thingy. shall update later if i feel like it.
P.S. I haven't updated the links, so some links MIGHT not work. Check my twitter to see when it's done.
Labels: Life Stories
Sunday, October 5, 2008
yes this dead blog shall be revived for today by this one post. not much has happened anyway so i guess you really didn't missed out on much stuff. Ok
my life so far is a utter complete mess. A mess kept private till now. The random "miss HER alot
", some close friends growing apart, and not being able to play/sing as well as i used to all contributed to it. Right NOW ( @ 6:28pm GMT-8) I'm particularly bother by the second issue. Why? I don't know. Maybe it was the promise we made when our friendship was still " fresh", that we'll be friends forever? Most of the guys reading this would be in stitches due tolaughter when they read the " friends forever" part but ah i can't be bother already. Sigh wonder hows that friend doing? maybe she forgot bout me? well i AM forgettable. so it's not surprising.
O and yea. LIFEHOUSE IS IN TOWN! Or rather WAS. They Played @ saint james last night and i can't get in due to me being underaged by ONE year.Sigh.
Well shall stop here. haha my brain isn't used to typing posts after a long hiatus. see you soon! I hope XDD
O btw i feel like making a blog that reviews movies, tunes and games. What do you guys think?