hello guys...yes i didnt blog....ok i'm now but...anyway u get the picture...
how i type now is like what i m now...a confused MESSED UP piece of wreck which is my life, broken in other words like this song....so i went down to talk to someone i can talk to, and hopefully find some peace...i did...by reading Shiyun's blog, se has a song From prince casapian...yea music does AMAZING things i tell you....
then i went to JAMIE's blog...today her last part of the blog worte pretty meaningful stuff heres a snippet "I get really disturbed when I read people's blogs and them complaining about how they think their lives are so screwed up over little things, how much homework they have, how much their parents are pissing them off and they want to die and etc etc. I know I do that sometimes, but I came to one point where I realised how lucky I am to be able to worry and get angry over things like that." Unfortunately i'm not jamie...i cannot be like her...and well be happy for the small things cause...your life is really meangless when u r alone right?worse still ifu hav no PURPOSE/sense of Purpose in your life.....
her blog also quotes "You only find a few people in this world, a few people who will tell you they love you, and mean it with all their heart."
yea for me i feel that i found almost none....mayb one or two but other than that....noone else....and even with these soo few ppl i know...i'm afraid that they too don't care as much as I do......
I REALLY wonder without me...how would everyone turn out? maybe my poly friends like jamie, shiyun and steph and gman would have a BETTER friend....maybe some one might have gotten in to the course i'm in and CHANGE the industry altogether...
I REALLY want to change people's world...in a good way of course ...to be there for ALL my friends....when they need it....however it seems i'm doomed to remain invisible......unnoticed by the outside world.....I mean don't mind not recongised for what i do and such causse thats NOT the point....i help or listen (or try to at least) my friends so that they may not meet the same fate as me...a wondering soul with no purpose or direction....and that they be happy...i don't expect anythng in return....but i could do with some Love.......
nuyihs : this the only wway i can do this now...but i want to BE there for you...almost like your BFFs are there for you...but i cannot seem to reach you now.....>.
Hello people of the earth! =D today's SORTA my holiday, thanks to NO test being held today. Actually tomorrow SUPPOSEDLY is a holiday as well, but thanks to a particular teacher, theres a CLASS TEST (not common test =.=) being held tomorrow. Sigh,my sad life as a student XDD.
Anyway I JUST woke up. Ok just woke up is not exactly correct. I woke up and played 'Gears Of War', and now I'm in front of my com. Had this weird dream again last night, this time though i vaguely remember it. All I remember this time was Delight, XXXXXX, and Me talking like normal friends! ^-^ How I wish for that to be true...Is it a sign of something to come?or something that I'll NEVER see?Only time will tell I guess..
O and my mother all of a sudden ask me whether I want to work...Under NORMAL circumstances I would jump on the band wagon already...This time however, I cannot decide...This mostly due to the fact I want to go out with XXXXXX at least ONCE, and if i start working, its more than likely that i would not be able to go out...how?
Anyway today's plan is that I (FINALLY) start on my AMP project, and maybe study for the test tomorrow...yup so I'll catch you guys and gals later!
...Update... hey y'all! yeap today's update is early haha...so anywayx i DID get started on my AMP written assignment haha...anyway nth much happened today except...yea...i took the job offer...hence this as you know, drastically reduces my chances of going ou with her haix...is this the right choice to make?*sniff* and i think i'm catching a cold or something....sigh ...o well might update later again....bye!
OMG WTF WTF!!!!!!! i found Delights blog >.< style="font-size:130%;">
SHIT! I M GETTING EMO...HELP!!!!!STEPH!TOHRU!ANYONE!!
i m not gonna post bout yesterday or even today for that matter...tdy i m feeling TOO EMO...to even inject this post with any happiness...i cannot sleep, ehnce i m awake @ such an akward timing...i seen her online but yet she doesnt tok to me....is there something wrong with me?something sooo wrong that...even being friends with me is like catching the flu or worse?i don't know...right now....i doubt anyone knows how i feel...not even the closet friend i have now, steph.why m i like this?why when i close my eyes....i see her smile, n KNOW its never gonna be mine...mayb i m selffish for only wanting it for myslfand no one else....but...still...i also been thinking that i m gonna die soon...if i do i wish that i die saving HER...or something...i wished sometimes.......that i can disappear....so noone would miss me....no one would ever feel the pain,of knowing me.
5h1 you would never ever know.......how much u mean to me....i hope i get the chance to tell u though.....but now...it seems i never ever will.....
Name: Joel
-17 going on 18
-1.8-something metres tall =D
-Mood swings often, at times even more than the rollercoasters.
-EPPS('98 :1F,'99 :2F,'00 :3G,'01 :4G,'02 :5H,'03 :6H),SGSS('04 :1E1,'05 :2E1,'06 :3E1,'07 :4E1),NP AT('08 :1T05)
