Tuesday, June 10, 2008
You know when your laptop has a warning that it has critically low power before it hibernates so as to prevent your work from getting erased/corrupted when your laptop FINALLY runs out of battery power? Well thats KINDA my life right now in a nutshell.Why? because of how emotionally drained I feel...=.=, and how thats affecting me...NO it's not cause i keep thinking bout HER that gets me drained.It's Seeing things I know I'll NEVER EVER EXPERIENCE cause i miss the only period of time i'm able to do so.What am I talking about? read on....

Well wroking is fine and no i don't REALLY get bored ( till like its almost time to go home...) so yea...when i'm in my father's car after work, i m exhausted, tired. Come back home to a average dinner...and on the com...THEN i read people's blog and see how much FUN they are having with their FRIENDS or rather their BFFs...I mean I was pretty much a social outcast in secondary school...having to come back early after school, being shy, being different, not allowed to go ANYWHERE till like i'm sec 3...and even then i went out very little time...all this thanks to my parents...no i don't blame them...cause I'm who i am because of what i been through...ALL my friendships now, no matter whether the relationship is broken or dying, i hold VERY VERY dear to my heart...sometimes...i think i put it in front of GOD. Yes i do have friends...but most of them wouldn't even bother if i stopped existing...as in die ...i mean the closest friend i have now...well...shes a NEW friend hence we r not as close as jamie and her bff...sometimes i really stop and think...me alive isit REALLY worth it? afriend told me it wasn't worth investing your tyime, effort and money on building human relationships cause it would end up to nothing....as much as i LIKE to disagree...i truthfully cannot cause...really till now i don't think ANYONE ,except 2 or 3 people would care...i bet that even the dear readers of this blog don't care...I mean all my life spent being invisible....NO i don't want to be popular or anythng...i just..w.ant to be loved, and probably cared for...by people wom i feel the same way too...

And this the reason why i'm so afraid to move in this rollar coaster ride between my crush and me. If i make a move, i might lose MORE THAN one friendship.If I don't i might also lose the relationship anyway...

the number of blog hits jumped about ten from last night...but so far i count ONE tagg...omg...shows you how people care huh?

So far away from where you are,
Who we are have torned us apart,
But i miss you,
and wished you were here.
I missed the days where you're around
but somehow,I know YOU wouldn't even care.
Even if i were to drown,
YOU wouldnt be sad or hurt or even just miss me

Plug me in to a friend...please?


Rocked Out at at


Self Entitled
Name: Joel
-17 going on 18
-1.8-something metres tall =D
-Mood swings often, at times even more than the rollercoasters.
-EPPS('98 :1F,'99 :2F,'00 :3G,'01 :4G,'02 :5H,'03 :6H),SGSS('04 :1E1,'05 :2E1,'06 :3E1,'07 :4E1),NP AT('08 :1T05)

My Links
My Xbox's Blog Youtube Profile
My Reviews/Tech Site
-My Guitars, Lyla and Skye
-Losing Friends D=
-Feeling Emo


    Dreaming Out Loud
    LAST UPDATED:1st December 2008

    - Yamaha FX370C
    - The ONE person.
    - VOX VT30 with foot switch
    - Les Paul
    - Halo 3 : ODST
    - RED Fender Mustang

    The Performance

    The Encore