Rocking The Night Away

2009-08-25T22:28:00.004+08:00

moved.

The change has began....

i hope

P.S. do tagg on the new blog if u want to be linked THANKS =D

2009-08-20T01:56:00.000+08:00

I want to start anew. I want to write a song.

But would any of these come true?

2009-08-14T08:44:00.002+08:00

._. before i start i have to say this is by far. the worst birthday ever. I don't need presents. i don't need celebrations. i just want people that i care for to care about me. a selfish request i know, but just tis one day let me betruely selfish ._.

Theme song for today

Lryics
いつも通りのある日のこと
君は突然立ち上がり言った
「今夜星を見に行こう」

たまにいいこと言うんだね
なんて皆して言って笑った
明かりもない道を
馬鹿みたいにはしゃいで歩いた
抱え込んだ孤独や不安に
押し潰されないように

真っ暗な世界から見上げた
夜空は　星が降るようで
いつからだろう君のことを
追いかける私がいた
どうかお願い驚かないで
聞いてよ私の
この思いを

「あれが、デネブ、アルタイル、ベガ」
君は指差す夏の大三角
覚えて空を見る
やっと見つけた織姫様
だけどどこだろう彦星様
これじゃ一人ぼっち

楽しげな　ひとつ隣の君
私は何も言えなくて
本当はずっと君のことを
どこかでわかっていた
見つかったって届きはしない
だめだよ泣かないで
そう言い聞かせた

強がる私は臆病で
興味がないようなフリをしてた

だけど

胸を刺す痛みは増してく
あぁそうか好きになるって
こういうことなんだね

どうしたい？
言ってごらん？
心の声がする
君の隣がいい
真実は残酷だ

言わなかった言えなかった
二度と　戻れない
あの夏の日煌めく星
今でも思い出せるよ

笑った顔も怒った顔も
大好きでした
可笑しいよね
わかってたのに
君の知らない私だけの秘密

夜を越えて遠い思い出の
君が指をさす
無邪気な声で

Translation
On a day like every other day,
You suddenly stood up and said,
“Tonight let’s go see the stars”

“You say good things once in a while”
Said everyone as they laughed
On a street with no light
We walked while having fun like idiots.
In order to crush,
The loneliness and uncertainty we were carrying.

I looked up from a pitch black world
The night sky seemed as if it was raining stars
I wonder when, I started to
Chase after you.
Please, somehow
Don’t be surprised and listen
To these feelings of mine.

“That’s Deneb, Altari, and Vega”,
You finger pointed at the Summer Triangle.
I remember and looked at the sky.
I finally found Vega,
But where are you, Altair?
If it’s like this, you’re all alone.

The cheerful you who was one next to me,
I couldn’t say a word to you.
Truthfully, I understood my feelings for you,
Somewhere a long time ago.
I found it, but I won’t tell you.
“That’s no good, don’t cry”
Please let me hear that from you.

I was a coward and put on a tough face,
I pretended to be uninterested.

But…

The pain piercing my chest increased
Ah, I see. To like someone,
Is something like this.

What’s the matter?
Try saying it?
My heart is beating
I’m fine by your side
The truth is cruel.

I didn’t say it,
I couldn’t say it.
We can never return.

To that summer day,
To those shining stars.
Even now, I still remember.
Your laughing face,
Your angry face.
I loved you.

It’s strange, isn’t it?
Even though I know that.
Something you don’t know,
A secret for me alone.
Across the night,
From a distant memory,
You pointed with your finger,
And in an innocent voice,

I can relate to the song esp now... Sigh. I don't know whatto do. even knowing she's falling ill i don't now what i should do. half my mind wants to care the other half wants everything to stop. WHAT SHALL I DO?!?!??!

Gonna skip the whole ofsch today as a bdae gift to self.

2009-08-13T07:34:00.001+08:00

I wonder what do i mean to ppl. i kinda have this depressing thought that says i haven't done enough to impact people's lives. haven't done enough that when i go, ppl won't rmb or even miss me. ._.

Anyway spent the whole of yesterday playing gme and practicing my guitar...still feel emoy. SOMEONE HELP MEEEE

am i never to be loved? =/

2009-08-04T19:29:00.002+08:00

YEsterday really made me see... how much i can't do for u....now i'm afraid of showing u i care cause....i dunnoe what to do...

2009-08-03T09:05:00.002+08:00

meh it's one of those periods again. but now it's not about finding love anymore, i resigned to fate alrdy. even if i want to be with her, if it doesn't, then it doesn't.

Anyway now it's more of what my life has been so far. i know most of us end up unremembered. i's not like i want to be someone famous and wellknown like MJ i just want to be sure, that i've impacted the ppl i love. ._. o wells

2009-07-30T09:36:00.001+08:00

._. i misssed the first two lessons of the day. that is all.

I don't know what to think anymore.

2009-07-20T21:42:00.002+08:00

Why isit that no matter how many times i go thru this, the huet never lessens? TT_TT

People say be a man, but really, i dun think i can. Yes i'm a wuss so? i just want to be more numb. >.<

ticktockticktock when will it stop?

2009-07-20T07:10:00.002+08:00

Ok so it's Monday, AGAIN... Oh my gosh. =3= all the projects datelines are getting closer and that WORRIES ME. DAMN IT SNAP OUT OF THIS LAZY PHASE ALREADY *slaps self*

So anyway yesterday was the Music Lab's Bi-annually Student Concert and it was what i expected after performing a few times in school (as in Ngee Ann Poly.) In the end i didn't get a mike so didn't do back up =/ well can't complain. got to play at a pub/bar whatever you call it. The more surprising thing was that the someone asked for encore @_@ and of all the songs, the one we were most worried about, Muse's Plug in Baby. o well alls well that ends well. well post pics and vidsonce i find them. =3=

I wonder whether it is possible not, me and her. sometimes it feels like it can be, sometimes it feels it never will be i dunnoe @_@. I wished life was simpler. so i can just be happy. but den again it would be too dull wouldn't it. well cya in a bit

2009-07-17T12:48:00.003+08:00

So it's the las day of the week. Most students would be rejoicing. Not me. well. I'm rejoicing THAT much =3=

Today found out one of my projects really needed a GROUP effort. which would be ok if i actually TRSUTED my group mates...not to say i dun trust them. rather i'm worried @_@ o well.

So yea if u have me on msn. I REAKLLY AM GOING GAGA OVER guitars. right now looking at the Ibanez GAX or the Epiphone Les Paul Jr. man. if only i was richer . =/ but first VOX amp pl0x as of now, the funds now stand at 30 dollars. i expect it to drop to zero or ten dollars over the weekends.

2009-07-14T16:54:00.000+08:00

Two words sum up what i feel now.

I FAILED

2009-07-14T08:54:00.002+08:00

Ok two rants first off to a friend of mine

Dear Friend,

First off i would like to APOLOGISE for me exploding at you ystr BUT i won't apologise for what i said. First off u do not join a conver do something and expect to say hi too. i was in ANOTHER conver and didn't even see the skype conver until i said hi. Another thing is YOU DUN FREAKING EXPECT TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES. THE WORLD DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT. Secondly u typing what u did after really just showed how insecure u are. FURTHURMORE i didn't message cause firstly i was BUSY. Secondly You BARELY reply to any random messages i send u. HEnce msging u randomly is not a MUST for me. =_= K LASTLY I was sparing a thought for U by not msging. I mean in this situation msging u will either make u go "WAAH U RUB IT IN KNS" or "WTF IT'S JUST UR MP3, NO MP3 WILL DIE MEH" So yea it's practically a lose-lose situation for me, and the rest as well. and btw dun give the excuse ranran msg u. why not u ask cause u msg her back almost all the time. so yea.

Yours truely,

Ex14

ok now about subject two Haruhi YES that HARUHI

the popular yellow ribboned character from the hit ANIME. Truh be told it is quite decent, but the recent eps have been nothing but fillers. like seriously 3 eps with almost the same thing. wth? I understand it's the story but srsly if it'sgonna continue i'm gonna put it on hold till like that kyon decides to do something.srsly.

If this was any other aniem you'll see everyone cry FILLER (wth an whole ep of filler too) but for haruhi, it's fans a lil too hardcore liao....o well.

2009-07-13T21:26:00.002+08:00

I JUST WISHED I WAS TREATED MORE SERIOUSLY/WITH MORE RESPECT

THAT IS ALL

ON A LIGHTER NOTE, i mad e alist of anime i've watch/am watching.....http://myanimelist.net/animelist/Ex14 very little surprisingly....but i suspect i forgot....alot.. >.<>

2009-07-13T06:54:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was an epic day =D and it all started out with my church's anniversary.

And one of my church guitarist got a Tokai Es335 hog is that thing sweet sounding or what ^_^

After service, " jammed" with them a while before rushing off to cosfest for my first official saikang duty at cosfest.

Where Day 1 was nice, Day 2 was even better =D

I was saikanging for a toradora team which lacked the two main characters =_= hence making my teamatesless recognisable i guess?

But it still was fun. ESP the ending dance haha. so in the end i guess it really was a very happy event....though i wished that someone waas there @_@.

Anyway, they say pictures are akin to that of a thousand words so I'll let them the the talking instead. Beware of over exposed shots and underexposed shots aas well. (my crappy phone camera FAILZOR)

Aisaka Taiga (From Toradora)

wth are u doing?

DROP THAT CAMERA!!!!~

Miku and Kaito (from Vocaloid)

Miku : Why are there soo many photogs?

Kaito : Don't worry, we'll look good together

Vocaloid Team plus one Unknown (I ish noob forgive me)

Strike Freedom (From Gundam Seed Destiny)

PH34R MEH EPINESS

OH NOES WALL OF PHOTOGS~

wish you were there~

2009-07-05T14:23:00.002+08:00

Well yesterda was kinda fun? i guess. helping negi and all really made me realise that that was what i really enjoy doing, helping ppl. but at the same time, it made me realise. how i'm probably just a one off guy. how i probably break away from this clique soon after and be forgotten soon. Sigh o well i btr get used to it... anyways, it hasn't been that bad these few days, i had a weird dream. the dream that normally signifys it is never gonna happen D=. I should guess so...anyone who would like a guy like me =3=

The sch performance is coming up soon too...and everything sounds great =D

Well at least this post ends positively.

Yesterday made me realise,

How much u mean to me,

How much i want to protect whatever i can

and how, I might not fit in the picture.

2009-06-30T08:12:00.003+08:00

Lots of things have happened recently....and lots of things have not been happening.

Well anyway thanks to minorin, found this band awesome shyt man

Cool right? omg. I hope/dream my band can be like em T-T long way to go lol

ireallywanttoknowhowyoufeel

2009-06-22T20:31:00.002+08:00

I'm back. Yeap. holis comming to a close , but with the h1n1 virus spreading like wildfire now. there might be an extension....o well time will tell.

any way i did ANOTHER cover. yeap.

Well u REALLY have to crank up the vol to hear my guitar >.< (thanks to my lousy editing skills. m=_=m i fail....) I know it's not the best but PLEASE give it a rating and comments PLEASE.

on a side note, i wonder why my vids aren't getting anyratings or comments recently. =/

Well on another note if u dun want to hear my AWFUL playing look at this vid.

OMG AT THE SKULL GUY AWESOME SHYT THERE

2009-06-17T12:58:00.005+08:00

Nobody seems to understand....the 10K thing meant alot.

AFter CAMPING for two whole days. >.<>

OMG. WTF. even my recently arrived alison can do little to cheer me up.

2009-06-01T07:17:00.002+08:00

I guess this is the end...

Where dreams are crushed....

Where I have to pick it all up...

Somehow...

I expected this....

but.....

I still feel sad....

I wonder why....

After soo long....

I haven't gotten used to this feeling...

Alas,

I have to continue putting on a smile,

For the Sake of the people i love,

For some kind of normality in my life.

The one who needs two, now runs on one.

2009-05-29T14:16:00.002+08:00

Weee blogging during class. =/ yes i know i know, i really shouldn't be but....yea -_- i really cannot concentrate.

Plans for today got thrown off course. I'm not emo though just slightly disappointed >.<>

So wit my plans destroyed and swept under my bed, I have since decided to go hoe and practice guitar again ^-^ hope to make SOME progress....and i hope My EQ settings didn't get screwed by anyone at home =.='''

SPEAKING of guitars. Looks like My guess was right

Azusa is using a RED mustang yayness I won a treat at ben and jerry's =D

I think i officially jumped ship from yui to Azusa -_-'''>

O and Futuristic Imagination's PV was abit disappointing too

Well Guess I gonna remove Video of the month seeing how i rarely update....I prob remove a few other stuff as well....maybe a change of clogskin is in order too? hmm...

see ya guys soon i hope

2009-05-26T20:45:00.001+08:00

I'm wondering....Whether i deserved to be loved....whether she will like me..... or push me away

shelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenotshelovesmeshelovesmenot...

2009-04-26T22:53:00.002+08:00

Wee~

The weekends are coming to a close, which means, school tomorrow.

Ha had a meaningful talk with Rachal, I'm very grateful for it. ^-^

So anyway i had a normal weekend. Very pumped up with learning the K-ON! OP, though the timing is still my main hurdle.

well anyway I went for the LIPS competition today and as expected, there was only TWO ppl. me and another gal. I easily took this qualifying round....no surprise. but i wished there was MOAR ppl.

o wells. Me singing in front of people was really nerve wrecking. I wonder if i do gig how would i be man....Also i think like my band shld learn 5 easy songs first....meeting up with them on tues so i'll guess i'll tell them then.

concludes this post

cya round!

/end

O and a new thing to save for. A new amp lols. VOX VT-15/30 lols

2009-04-24T11:33:00.003+08:00

The 1st wek of school is coming to an end..... T-T yea just like that one week has gone passed. It's been...a normal school week bah.

I'll really miss these kind of days, it seems we're all growing up too fast T-T

Well anyway i finished Shakugan no Shana already yeap Both seasons 1 and 2. Happily anticipating the third season which is rumored to be airing this autumn.

Shakugan no Shana features one of the voices behind another favourite anime of mine, ToraDora, Kugimiya Rie.it was not a bad anime, for me at least. Action scenes were good and the school life part is nice too. But with that, It means i now only have anime i'm watching at the moment, K-ON!

This anime features 4 girls who are in a "light" music club (pop music to us). For some reason this anime is really making me strive harder as a guitarist. esp in the electric side XDD. Trying to learn the anime's OP and ED. currently OP's Rythmn part is more or less there need to work on my timing only.

ok in other news. I have a sudden urge to start cooking my own bentos and bringing it to sch so that i can save money for my guitars and games. hmmm.....

thats all i can think off now....see ya later

2009-04-21T16:34:00.003+08:00

Day 2 of my school and I can safly say things are gonna get INTERESTING.

Today was our IS day, and poor old me (who forgot to choose his IS module) got into the Community module. I thought i would be alone in that class TAT. Thankfully when i got there i saw Edwin and Kim Ann (whew...)

Well for some reason I kinda had an impression that our lecturer would be female (not unlike my CATS lecturer from the previous semester). So imagine to my ~~horror~~ surprise, when a male lecturer came walking up towards the mini-crowd of classmates tha i was part of.

Well I should have guessed that this teacher wasn't the ~~mean, angry~~ stern man i thought he was, when he couldn't open the door with his key. In fact i shouldn't have expected a normal lesson at all. =/

Well all i can say the lesson most definately didn't go according to plan at all. But hey at least we got dismissed early XDD.

So a bored old me decided to check out CCA fiesta in order to waste some time before I was to meet up wth Andrew to get our books. Hanged out with philip for a while, before going to the Song Composing Club booth. Met the usual culprits there. played a few songs with them taked, laughed carried stuff.

So in the end , due to a communication breakdown (due to the noise @ the fiesta) Ididn't meet up with andrew. and hence i went home a tired man with no books >.< tired ="/?">

I FOUND THE TABS FOR K-ON WOOHOO ~ now to get started to practice.

That pretty much sums up today

*nods* now to watch Joan of Arcadia Ja ne~!

2009-04-20T13:38:00.002+08:00

So after a LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG hiatus, I finally decided to blog. So whats the special venttat prompted today's post? Well today's the first day of school for me. It wasn't really special (discounting the fact that someone got a major haircut). All the teachers seem nice enough for me to make the changes i've planned. Now all I need is a lil determination and diligence and it'll be all fine.

Also,been quite cheery today. for what reason, i don't know. Still it was really refreshing to be able to feel really cheery again. Today begun my quest to save enough money for a HORDE of stuff.

List of Stuff I want to Get
1) Yamaha FX370C Electric-Acoustic Guitar

2) Epiphone LesPaul (actually any Les Pal would do XDD)

3)1600 Microsoft Points

4) 12 Month Xbox Live Gold Subscription Card

5) Halo 3 : ODST

I have a few other waiting to be added (guitar effects, random games, amps.) but this list by itself is valued at aprox 3-4k >.<>

Sigh, maybe i should get a job for the next few holidays?

O wells thats it for today.

Forgotten

2009-03-21T22:20:00.003+08:00

Forgotten

Some times, it's just best to forget.....

Fanboys

2009-02-17T14:57:00.002+08:00

Fanboys

It's been a while since I last posted. Meh but nth's changed till recently.

1) Found another anime character I fanboy over =3=. Fate Stay Night's Saber

Isn't that cosplayer pretty? XS

Gaah i wans...

I'm going mad....maybe it's the stress.

But seriously if got a gal like that in Singapore. No doubt about it, i'll fall for her....IF she has a nice personality =P.

Talk about getting my hopes up. =_='''

2) finished two topics of ETE YAY. PLEASE GOD GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO GO ON!!

Ahh crazy rant/post finished.

Hope to update soon

Post-It

2009-02-03T08:30:00.002+08:00

Post-It
Back For another round of spamming. Lols.

Ok anyway yesterday FINALLY got my own laptop.

...

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

lols.

Yea. As shown below it's the Asus F8Vr, and its RED/MAROON in colour.

The Lappy is sooo PRETTY lol. I don't even feel like skinning the thing lols.

It runs like a dream now, and i intend to keep it that way.Daily virus quick scans and monthly Defragging.

lols.

Recently saw her photo again. I didn't really looked for her pic but, i sorta stumbled upon the Gundam 00 cosplay team pics ^-^'''' and saw someone that look like her. Ah well her DA blog sounds pretty darn happy too, so yea i'm in a good mood this morning. I guess not patching things up is the right thing to do =]

Maybe in another life or time. just maybe...

Still deciding what to do on the 14th of Feb.

Wonder whether she gets that I care.

Determined i would work hard...No, i MUST work HARDER and get a good/average GPA again.

Please God give me the strength.

The strength to follow through what i decided.

Sian-ed

2009-02-02T07:38:00.002+08:00

Sian-ed

Life can be soo mediocre sometimes it makes you wanna scream. Wheres all the excitement in it.

well anyway tried to do AECAD yesterday but failed horribly. School laptop too slow/lousy apparently.It's soo slow/lousy i dun even see the blinking line to see where have i typed to in this post. WTH. I wants my ASUS laptop now please and thank you. So poor old me gotta rush it out today and tomorrow.Sigh. Life of a ~~LAZY~~ student.

Still i feel damn lost. Theres little reason to keep studying harder than what i am now. "For my future/own good" is the common reason my brain and parents throw at me but. It really all appears rather meaningless. Coupled with my seemingly forgetful brain (which forgets things very very quickly. It doesn't retain info as well as before, which resulted in me failling my ETE. I need help man. 15 min to lesson start now but really i don't feel like going. but what to do?

Same goes for my guitar. I really enjoy certain moments when i play/ practice, but those are like a rare sight. Recently i realised how lousy i am =.=''' mostly due to lack of practice, and me not having ennough skill. sigh.

I hope i find a reason to work hard soon. I'm determined to change but apparently either determination is not enough, or i just have a weak resolve?

Post In Moderation.

2009-01-30T08:14:00.003+08:00

Post In Moderation.
Back again. Yea the dead blog is back, just like the living dead.

Meh

Well anyway life's been mighty fine. Well it hasn't been a bed of roses but still, it pays to look on the bright side.

speaking of which, i finally am getting a new laptop.Yup A (hopefully) RED Asus F8Vr (picture below). She's a beauty ain't she ;)

SHOULD look like the one circled =/

So yesterday had CATS presentation. Which my group failed quite badly in =~=.Ironically we failed even though we put in effort in this.Why? We apparently didn't do the presentation correctly. Thankfully the teacher gave us another chance to represent to her NEXT week. Thank God for giving my group another chance.

I find it wierd that I'm posting now =/, a time when nothing interesting (if you discount the fact I have a swollen right eye) is happening. Wierd.

Sigh song writing is hard man. Or maybe i'm just too self analytical, throwing away songs which seem like they would fail. I MUST STRIVE HARDER.

Recently haven't been seeing much of her already. Is that good or bad? In fact are my actions stalkerish? =/

Valentine Day is coming soon =.=''' not my favourite day of the year but meh, i'll live through it. More or less decided not to do anything on that day because that gal is already busy NOW. Can't imagine she would be free during a date soo close to Exam.

Finally a mental not to self. WORK HARD FOR THE EXAMS!

New Year's Eve.

2008-12-31T13:58:00.002+08:00

New Year's Eve.

Today's New Year's Eve, where we stand on the brink of getting rid of the old and welcoming the new. and with that i would like to wish everyone (including ppl who stumbled unto my blog accidentally a very happy new year's eve. may you accomplish all the resolutions u make this year.

This year's new year eve is more....well i fell is more meaningful. i guess. Looking back, this year is one heck of a year. Losing friends faster than i can make. Losing so much stuff =.='''. and turning 17. best part. Alone.

Just now, i received a msg from a friend asking for some info. i replied him really late and hence my brain started thinking about how to explain the late reply.

"Sorry but I don't carry my phone with my nowadays, esp at home..."

I stopped in my tracks right when i thought that. It was just supposed to be an excuse...but...somehow, it made me reflect. Why wasn't i bringing my phone around in the house like early this year? I realised early in the year, ppl were sending me messages/replying hence i always carried my phone everywhere. now things have change soo much....i rarely receive messages from everyone, even the ones that used to care...now they're all either busy or they just don't care alrdy. that really saddened me. and made it feel even more alone.

I wonder what the new year will bring? hope to update witha resolution list later...see you guys later

Invisible

2008-12-25T22:39:00.003+08:00

Invisible

Ah, the holiday season. full of joy and laughter, gifts and well wishes galore.

Well thats what it used to be, for me at least. To cut a long post short. Christmas really got me thinking. If i were to disapear one day, would anyone even notice?

No more friends to confide in, no more ppl who care
Who shall ever notice, if i should disappear
like the lines of this post, i blend into the back
the question is however, do you really CARE?

Ideals

2008-12-08T12:17:00.001+08:00

Ideals

I read Chris blog again and something really caught my eye. She wrote about a meeting with her cell leaders.

"we had a fascinating conversation about relationships.
listening to my ideals, they looked rather surprised. and sister eeleen told me "you believe in that? even i find it hard to believe in that anymore."
maybe my dad taught me to set my ideals too high.
dad taught me that loving someone doesn, it just mean you can live with the person, but it means that you can't live without that someone.
and sister eeleen told me to hold onto my ideals.
what do you think though?"

from raindrops25.blogspot.com - 4th December 2008

I wanted type a LONG meaningful post. but i think the last line pretty much says it all

What do YOU think?

How long would i live with this life of regrets?

2008-12-01T16:25:00.001+08:00

Gaah looking at pictures really can stir up some really strong emotions. o well at least she's safe and happy =D

Screwed =X

2008-12-01T07:16:00.002+08:00

Screwed =X
Time's been flying real fast this term. Man soo fast i barely had time to breathe. In a blink of an eye, it went from first WEEK of school, to now, a week shy of CT. =_=''' I'm right now worried/panicking about CT cause there are subjects which i BARELY can do right now due to my excessive playing/unattentiveness during classes. So anyway in a bid to catch up with school work, gonna try to stay off playing/using the internet for a while. So no more SgCafe, BOB or even dare i say it Xbox LIVE T-T. i mean i MIGHT take a break and log on/play, but not before i study. yup.

On a lighter side, I FINALLY PERFORMED LIVE! WOO!~ Though i messed one part up, i'm pretty much satisfied about this performance. =)

O and Xmas is coming!(wth two small brown birds landed beside me O.o) Wondering what are the presents i'll be getting XP. I know economy's down and everything so i'm not getting my hopes too high on what i'll be getting (note to self : New year's resolution must include being LESS materialistic!) so here's my Xmas WANTS list:

1) A Fender American Standard Telecaster/Standard Telecaster in either one of these colours NO colours no guitar lol!(note i know American Standard and Standard are too different models but i'll like to see the price first lols)

2) Effects Pedal!Either Tube Screamer or Delay

3) Xbox games! Woo Left for Dead/Endwar anyone? XPP

okok. so thats my rant for the day. see you guys soon i hope!

Thinking.

2008-11-28T08:03:00.002+08:00

Thinking.

Yo guys. Todays quite a big day haha. My FIRST performance for the general public Whoo~! well...not really public YET. It's a Xmas party my divison organised. Words can't describe the feeling i have now. Excited, scared and nervous. gosh....I really hope it goes well! O and I so want to Learn Lifehouse's "We'll Never Know".

As Xmas draws closer, I realised how little money i have. sigh. Want to buy present for a FEW people. Want to go out. sianssss i hope i have enough money to survive the holidays.

Halo3 LOL

2008-11-25T08:30:00.001+08:00

Halo3 LOL

I didn't make this but seriously i LOLed at this haha...u might have to play halo 3 before to understand though...anyway enjoy

2008-11-22T20:07:00.002+08:00

Another emo post.

can't be bothered to even think of a title....just need to let it all out...sighhhh why do i feel jealous? >.< am i losing you? WHY DO I SPOIL EVERY FRIENDSHIP I HAVE?!?!?!?!

screw it. screw it cause i'm f***ed up.

GOD!

2008-11-20T22:08:00.002+08:00

Untitled:

Yea this post's untitled. Why>? cause i'm too occupied with stuff to think of a proper title.

Been feeling emo again....Like the WHOLE WORLD'S against me. Friends don't really care about me now...I'm pretty much sure that if i die/disappear now, no one would bother. except my parents/relatives of course.

However the people i hold REALLY close to my heart. Wouldn't know or just plainly wouldn't care.

Sometimes i wonder my purpose. God still has not shown me yet, so i'm sticking to the "trying to be a better person" resolution. Trying to help and love people, and not expect anything from them.

I Know i'm overly sensitive on certain things >.< but....after being in a situation like this i ALWAYS expect the worst esp in these matters.

Too tell you the truth i don't see myself living very long. I don't know why, but i think i would die young.It's better anyway if i did. All this relationships be it friends or something else is too much for me.

I can just imagine, a normal person reading this, ppl i hold dear included, to just shrug this off. Fact is i don't really matter much to anyone.i'm a "forgettable" guy.Always invisble, most probably forever.

I'm not smart, good looking or smart. not charming, not friendly, not socialble. No matter when i analyse myself be it when i'm happy or sad i can't think of positive aspects of myself. The oly difference is when i'm happy i'm able to brush it off and numb myself to the pain.

Loving people has been my weakest point. I can't forget about the person easily. And it's only recently i've been able to numb myself to the feelings i have for my first love. It took sooo long... just to COMPLETELY burry the feeling.

Some people say i'm just wallowing in self-pity.but what can i do? everywhere i look anything i do and i get is failure after failure.

I'm certain only a few people will read this post. Some who read might be shocked. but most wouldn't care. But i don't blame them. I'm disposable anyway. A person to talk to when they're bored/sad or whatever. nth else. well at least i'm grateful i'm able to help some people.....at least, even if i die tonight. i can die with at least ONE good memory.

To a Friend

2008-11-19T13:40:00.002+08:00

To a Friend
Dear Friend,

We been friends for some time now, and really u've become one of the most important person in my life. So important, i really can't imagine a world without you.

Truth is sometimes i like you MORE than a friend, and i tend to go crazy >.<. However at the end of the day, If you're happy, i'm happy.

Recently i've been a bit crazy and been bugging you ALOT.if u're angry/irritated with me i'm not surprised cause i'm angry/irritated with myself too

So I'm sorry for all i've done over these past few days. I hope u accept it T-T.

We're still friends right?

2008-11-19T13:08:00.000+08:00

I feel screwed up now. my brain's almost dead, someone is angry with me i think. and i screwed myself bad. God what am i saying....>< omgggggggggggg help me someone

2008-11-19T09:16:00.001+08:00

I feel extremely DOWN.

Made a decision to keep it to myself though.

No one would care anyway.

Hope this blows over soon

Whisper of a Broken Heart.

2008-11-16T09:44:00.002+08:00

Whisper of a Broken Heart.

somethings not right.i shouldn't like her, i just can't. what if i lose all that i treasure again? >.< i'm not gonna let this happen. Is this feeling real? or just imagined by my fickle heart.

God i need a sign. if i lose this, i'll lose myself too.

someone help me. =(

Update : Thoughts on Call of Duty 5 / Call of Duty : World at War

2008-11-11T08:25:00.004+08:00

Update : Thoughts on Call of Duty 5 / Call of Duty : World at War
Just and update to say my Thoughts on Call of Duty 5 / Call of Duty : World at War is up and can be found HERE!

Happy Reading! =D

Update : GOW 2 Review up

2008-11-10T12:29:00.002+08:00

Annoucement! XDD

Well guys just wanted to say that "my" review site is up. ok it's more like sankalp's blog but i'm a contributor. I've done a review on GOW2 which i've been playing.so read it up here! leave comments okay?

Free Swag. =D

2008-11-10T07:24:00.003+08:00

Free Swag. =D

Hello guys. haha time for another update of my life. =D Well anyways if you guys read my xbox's blog (link's at the side.), you guys would realised that I've got GOW2 and been playing it over the weekend. Well today's post is gonna be about the extraordinary lanuch event i attended.

To get things straight, the launch even WAS pretty standard. So thats why i said it was EXTRAordinary XDD. okok lameness aside, the evmade event itself was pretty normal. What, made it special, was the things that happened there. Confused? Don't worry i'll elaborate.

So i dragged Sankalp to the launch event, and arrived like SUPER early. even earlier than the Xperts. O.o But like the saying goes, "The early bird gets the worm." We got a chance to play the GOW2 campaign for awhile! so i took this time to "enlighten" Sankalp on the basics of the game. We were given like 15 mins only, however at the point the guy told us, we've already started up the tutorial. So in the end we only got to like a small firefight before the guys had to set up for a competition. At this point we decided to like join the competition, even though sankalp was a total noob at this game, just for kicks.

So to wasted the other hour plus, we walked around Vivo, and had dinner. When we head back, five consoles were already set up for the competition. However many people thought those console was for demo-ing purposes. It was kinda hilarous to see how the Microsoft guys had to "chase" the people away, to prevent them from screwing up the LAN they already had set up. At this point, Sankalp and me were told to find more people cause the competition required teams of five. We thought of giving up at first as we were worried that the competition would end at 10pm. >.<''' but in the end we joined.

I was soo sure we would lose. Imagine a team of guys suddenly pushed together, 3 average gamer (me and two guys), a total noob (sankalp) and one heck of a talker (another guy), a bunch of misfits against like really good ppl whom i know from Halo 3. Well Mr. Talker was another reason why i was worried. I mean these type of ppl tend to be ALL talk NO show right? WRONG this guy actually LED our team to...wait for it... VICTORY. well as prises we got a GOW Xbox360 Faceplate, and a GOW2 poster. Sankalp was like dumbfounded as to what to do with his prises (he's a PC gamer). "Sell your stuff on ebay lah." I said, and it was as if someone turned on the lights in his mind. XDD

To top it all off, We found JUICE like fruit juice CHEAPER than water OMG!!! it was like 1L for 99 CENTS. haha ok need run off for class. Ciao!

It's All About Life.

2008-11-07T08:12:00.004+08:00

It's All About Life.
Hey guys. I'm back! haha I'm like SUPPOSED to be doing CATS now, but inspiration is really avoiding me, so I'm like Blogging to give me (or my brain rather =/) an "excuse" to be NOT doing a piece of work which needs to be handedin BEFORE 3 TODAY. omg, I'm such a procrastinator.

Anyway, trusting God has my Life LESS chaotic, less emo-ish. Why at the start of the week, a few of my classmates said i appeared HAPPIER. O.o do I ALWAYS appear emo? Well anyway, truth is, I HAVE been feeling better, about myself, about the world, even though theres still plenty of condemnation from various sources about me, I'm determined to make this change COMPLETE.

Along with the change I'm striving to achieve, is the fact that i must surrender WHOLLY to God. Including issues i hold especially dear to my heart, for example, relationships. God's been pretty direct in what he wants me to do soo far, in handling certain issues. But for matters of the heart, it's totally different. try as i might to "hear" him, I don't. And I am a teenage boy, with raging hormones. So not liking someone, as a abnormaly for me anyway. Recently found myself attracted to someone i just met O.o. yes i know, i have a knack for liking people i just met. But anyway decided not to do anything unless like God makes opportunity for me to talk to her, like without her friend/s being with her. I'm sure this wouldn't amount to nothing and would probably become another blip on the radar that would go away soon i hope.

O while on the matter of LOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE, like to congratulate ANOTHER friend of mine, who also RECENTLY got attached. ^~^ Congrats and Good luck Cheryl! And may you and whoever's your beloved stick like superglue through THICK and thin. On a side note, is everyone getting attached or what? O.o

O I have to thank Ben too. Thanks for helping me lower Lyla's action and do even more and like polish my frets till they shone like mirrors. Thanks Alot man, the change might be small but she plays much better now.

O ok that concludes my rant about my life. Haha i'm like currently like in talks with a friend to get GOW2 for me WOOHHOOO o and i hope theres bbq today man. O well cya round guys.O and i've like updated my "wants" list and personal info. to like be better suited for me now XDD BUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Turnin' into a new leaf.

2008-11-04T08:35:00.003+08:00

Turnin' into a new leaf.
Yo guys. The long wait is over. I have finally posted. LOL that starting sounded soo wierd. Well anyway i'm back from the dead, after dying from all the schoolwork, and emotional issues but thinks to a CERTAIN friend *coughs*Bernita*coughs* (XDD) kinda sorted out everything.So heres the things i hope I'll change in.

1)Be less despo. =.='''
2)More hardworking please ^~^
3)Practice more on the guitar
4)spend more time with God. as in QT.
5)Get a HIGHER GPA THIS SEM gaah

Yup. LOL kinda my end year resolution eh?o well.

Anyway last week was kinda an emotional week. KINDA. Well a friend i cared quite a bit about told me things of her personal life even her plans. I was totally unprepared to hear what she said.like seriously. Even though i was not showing it, (or so i think) i was litterally O.o. All in all, i have to say, i hold her in the highest respect now. God i wish i have the strength she has too.

O and apparently someone got attached under the radar. LOLS shall not mention who for now but ONCE AGAIN (i know i said this like a hundred times already, but words alone is like not enough to describe my joy for ya XDD) congrats to that aforementioned somebody.

Kay have to head for class now. See you guys in a bit.

Meh

2008-10-24T08:48:00.002+08:00

Well today's post gonna be short and simple. Feels like it's gonna be a meh day, full of sleepyness, self hatred and other bad stuff. O.o and i've a bad feeling bout today =/....Also been procastinating and not paying attn in class...shyt.... well on the bright side i'm going X08. o well shall stop here....I DID mention this was a short post. might come back and post later though...

Finding my Feet Again

2008-10-21T10:30:00.004+08:00

Finding my Feet Again

Today's feeling like a good day for me =D. Awesome thing feeling happy during the start of the day. Not sure how long it'll last, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts =D.

Have an idea of a song RIGHT NOW(while typing this post), wonder whether should right it down. =/ It's wierd how i feel happy about EVERYTHING now. Including when i do things that USUALLY make me depressed such as looking at 'so and so's picture/s and such. Infact seeing her face and that smile of hers just placed a smile back on mine o^-^o

I think it's God helping me. And i gratefully thank HIM now. The love i felt for music, for writing songs are returning, which really excites me what i'll be able to do.

Decided to put my faith in HIM.

Note to Gman : Dude pay more attention in class. If you know waterpolo's gonna be busy then make an effort to LISTEN. O and PLEASE let me do my work in peace THANK YOU! ^-^

What I've Done.

2008-10-20T14:22:00.002+08:00

What I've Done.

Second post of the day, but had to let it out. I mean what have I done to deserve this? And seriously, whats with the hostility? Isit because once again I've been labelled an outcast and hence I'm treated like i have some sort of disease? O and stop dropping the not so subtle hints, and like talk "behind" my back, cause I DO understand what you guys mean. I'm not dumb or stupid. Blur at times though but aren't we all?Don't I have a Nose like you, Mouth like you, Ears like you, Eyes like you and FEELINGS like you? So tell me, what part of me is different?

Love, Actually...

2008-10-20T12:05:00.005+08:00

Love, Actually...

I actually didn't have much (actually NO) idea of what to blog about. But seeing Seroyen fanboy (of sorts) over the girl he ~~liked~~ remided me of of like just LIKING people. =.=''' Which in my case is a very depressing truth.

I never really seen myself as a likable/friendly to other people. In fact if for the fact I feel more invisible if not hated. Being sooo tall yet feeling so small is a lousy thing, and just by being tall/big sized, it adds to the misery. Best part is the small group of close friends i have growing closer. it's almost like a puddle in the desert.

Anyway seeing Seroyen go ga-ga over that girl just reminded me of things/events which i rather not remember. All the times, failing miserably, losing friends in the process, shatters my already broken heart.

I'm more than certain that there's like no one that will like me, the way i like them. And when i get my heart " broken" again in the distant future, there might not be anyone there to help "support" me. So right now, i'm sitting here, wondering, "is The End near?"

Love might be a beauty to some, a comfort for others, but for me it's like a stabbing pain, of all i did and failed. Soon i'll have to face it all alone. and by then, it's surely the end.

Losing myself, under it all.

2008-10-16T07:26:00.004+08:00

Losing myself, under it all.

Today's post will be brief, cause i woke up feeling bad, now i'm just down right depressed. Maybe I'm just down right sensitive, but even so, I'm slowly falling apart and i'm not sure whether i'll make it.

God, you can take my belongings, my talents, my music and my personality. But please, whatever you do, please don't take my friends away.

A Ghost In a Shell.

2008-10-15T07:22:00.002+08:00

A Ghost In a Shell.

Hey guys, back again. yea i know haven't been posting as much as before but what can i say? i think I'm changing, for the better or worse it's still anyone's guess.

Well changing for me, is SUPPOSED to be a piece of cake. I mean it's what we as humans are most adapt at doing (most of us). Well this time, the change is different. I can feel it (x.x)

The title pretty much says everything about how i feel my change is making me into. A Ghost in a Shell, or in layman's terms it means I feel slowly something INSIDE (emotionally not physically) is slowly getting smashed then deleted away. And trust me whatever is breaking and getting thrown out, is not supposed to. I'm slowly becoming something i don't want to be.Also not helping would be my friends. ESPECIALLY some of my school friends. For some reason not really clicking with them.

Then It would appear i'm losing friends AGAIN.Out with the old, in with the new doesn't work with friends you know.

Add to this all God's frequently increasing "test" and you have one hell of a life.

God. Shall stop rant here

Bummer it's a beautiful day =.='''

2008-10-08T12:49:00.003+08:00

Bummer, it's a beautiful day =.='''

You know how certain days just appear perfect? Yea today's one of those days for me. Unfortunately it usually means I would be doing something UNWORTHY to be done on such a beautiful day, and today is no exception. I'm currently in school awaiting my school's Dept. Annual Asset Physical Exercise which will begin as soon as the guy comes back from his lunch. Actually the whole thing isn't that bad, it's just that I stay almost on the opposite side of the country from my school. It's litterally East Meets West whenever I go to school. Long travelling time aside, I think this is gonna be a touch and go thing, where they like check the laptop the school soo "graciously" loaned me, and then send me on my way. that alone would take half the day (or more damnit) and the thought of losing half a day for a touch and go thing really irks me =.='''. Well at leasr there are THREE good points I can think of now.

First off. I'm gonna get Rock Band TODAY! haha been waiting for this game for sooo long >.< can't wait to try it this evening/ tomorrow morning.

Secondly, the long travelling + waiting time actually means I can listen to my beloved Lifehouse's songs.

Last and not least, school's starting soon. So there be less mundane days. I hope >.<

Shall stop here haha I'm guessing the school's staff is back for the Dept. Annual Asset Physical Exercise thingy. shall update later if i feel like it.

P.S. I haven't updated the links, so some links MIGHT not work. Check my twitter to see when it's done.

Revived?

2008-10-05T18:23:00.002+08:00

Revived?

Lol yes this dead blog shall be revived for today by this one post. not much has happened anyway so i guess you really didn't missed out on much stuff. Ok my life so far is a utter complete mess. A mess kept private till now. The random "miss HER alot", some close friends growing apart, and not being able to play/sing as well as i used to all contributed to it. Right NOW ( @ 6:28pm GMT-8) I'm particularly bother by the second issue. Why? I don't know. Maybe it was the promise we made when our friendship was still " fresh", that we'll be friends forever? Most of the guys reading this would be in stitches due tolaughter when they read the " friends forever" part but ah i can't be bother already. Sigh wonder hows that friend doing? maybe she forgot bout me? well i AM forgettable. so it's not surprising.

O and yea. LIFEHOUSE IS IN TOWN! Or rather WAS. They Played @ saint james last night and i can't get in due to me being underaged by ONE year.Sigh.

Well shall stop here. haha my brain isn't used to typing posts after a long hiatus. see you soon! I hope XDD

O btw i feel like making a blog that reviews movies, tunes and games. What do you guys think?

Decisions and Practicalisations

2008-09-10T22:22:00.002+08:00

Decisions and Practicalisations

heya guys...yes i know it's another long hiatus. well the one special thing that i really want to blog about is Wall-E! Yes that cute robot. Some has critisized it as a lousy film due to it's lack of human dialogue. but i find it's a very well done film. where words aren't needed to understand whats going on. also it has a story line which i think will touch alot of poeple's heart. yeap.......wanted this to be a longggggggggg post but....well no heart to write already haha see you guys soon!

Slowly and Surely, i'm Losing You.

2008-08-12T17:24:00.003+08:00

Slowly and Surely, I'm Losing You.

Hello people...been a while since i've updated. My days seem getting more and more monotonous, soi decided not to bore you people from reading boring post, i decided not to post! XDD Ain't i a good blogger?

Well today just felt like blogging again. Why? Cause i read a friends blog, and i realised how in a matter of months, we as friends have drifted. It's not just her. But a whole bunch of other people as well.

Change is a normal part of life, and i accept that. But sometimes these changes happen so fast and silently, adaptation is almost impossible. Well for me the rate i'm so called "losing friends" is just too fast for me to even comprehend. Best part, I'm losing them faster than i'm making new friends.

I hate drifting apart. Sigh but i guess it can't be helped right? We're in different schools/courses and rarely see each other already. infact i'm not surprised if some forgot who i am already. well with all the exams and recent assignments i'm not surprised. But even with the mental preparation, I can't help the bad sinking feeling i have in my heart every time i have this kind of "revelation"

Also i'm becoming very lazy...it's study week and i didn't really study! omg....ok back to the books....

My Heart's slowly breaking, but The Test is set and done, now only time will tell who treasures, and who doesn't 081408

Goodbye Days~

2008-07-30T08:41:00.002+08:00

Goodbye Days~

Hello dear readers of my blog. Yes I've taken a long break from blogging. Why? Basically because theres nothing much to blog about. Ok so I'm back, and fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, I'm feeling EMO-ish, the state where emo is too well emo to describe what i feel, but sad carrys too light a meaning.

Well anyway I've recently bought my FIRST concert DVD. YUI's Thank You My Teens DVD features her 'Spring & Jump' gig at the C.C. Lemon in Shibuya and contains songs like Rolling Star, CHE.R.RY, and Good-bye days and also features behind-the-scenes footage of the tour.

Well Listening to YUI's concert, one song caught my attention. I heard it before, but I never really got into the song. But listening to it in the DVD kinda like, well, pulled at my heartstrings. I didn't understand why at first and just thought it was because it sounded nice. So in search of the tabs i went. It was a pretty easy song. But a part of me wanted to find out what she really was singing, or rather the song lyrics. so off i went in search of the English translation to the song. And i found it.

Good-Bye Days by YUI

Translation by Ashikaga Honami

I will come now to/meet you because I/have made up my mind
I want you to/hear what I am hearing/the music in my pocket

slowly I raise the volume of music/listen and you will understand

oh Good-Bye Days
I feel/waves of changes are coming
farewell yesterday, so long
now you are by my side/making me feel warm with your gentle yet simple ways
lalalala love with you...

reluctantly/I pass one of/my earphones to you
so that you too/can slowly share/this precious moment

is this the way for me to show my love/I just don't know, sometimes

oh Good-Bye Days
I feel/waves of changes are coming
they sweep over me, alright
now you are by my side/making me feel warm with your gentle yet simple ways
lalalala love with you...

I wish our love/will never have/any kind of obstacles
but they will come surely, won't they?
when they do come/just hold on tight
'Yeah, hello! My friend' I will say
with a smile pasted on my face

when quietly I am/singing this song to you
please stand by me, I wish
now you are by my side/with your own ways and grateful that we had met
lalalala Good-Bye Days...

As expected, it was a love song =.='''. More importantly there were lryics inside which i really felt was true for how i feel 'bout Delight...o well.....update later

Edit: i'm actually feeling better cause it's like been a few hours when i completed this post

Post : 101

2008-07-23T07:13:00.003+08:00

Post : 101

Hello 8D i just realised this is my 101st POST YAY!So now my blog is 101 post old ^-^. YAYyayYAY! My longest living blog EVER! So with that i shall conclude this blog post XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD no lah just joking =D!

Don't you just marvel at the internet? How you could be in India reading this post, but have never been to Singapore before. Well the reason I'm writing about the internet is because of the EXPERIENCCE I had on XboxLIVE. Nono this is not a paid advertorial, but rather something I'm glad to share with the world.

I jumped unto the xbox band wagon MAINLY due to Halo (yes, I'm a halo fan). Of course it was also much cheaper than the PS2 so yea. In fact my first gen xbox is still alive and kicking...if I still knew where the power cord was...=.='''

So anyway, with the advent of Hi-Def, Microsoft promptly and swiftly came out with the Xbox 360 (something which i would dearly hate them for...i mean the xbox was a GOOD system which they dumped in what? five years?) However I soon got the 360 (again because Halo 3 wasn't coming out on the Xbox system).

Don't get me wrong i'm not a DIE-HARD fan of the 360. I hate the Red Rings of Death (RROD) that has plagued my xbox for a total of 3 times!( please don't fail again) and i really hate how noisy it is. But what really attracts me now to the Xbox 360, is it's LIVE community.

Recently, I played online (Halo 3) matchmaking and i found my self teamed up with two halfdrunk americans, and a japanese guy. The half drunk americans where sprouting funny things all the time. No they weren't like VULGAR or anything. Yea but they were really funny =D and friendly too. which is why i love Video games and LIVE i mean i played CounterStrike: Condition Zero, and heck, the community ain't half as friendly as these people on LIVE.

Anyway enough ranting how awesome LIVE is....I'm been thinking about thgileD alot =S....sians ...o wellll cya guys later or something i guess?

WHAT A BORING 101st POST! RAWR

I feel like making a game review blog.....what should i do?

Erm, can I have my bill? Grande-Sized please and thank you.

2008-07-18T14:17:00.003+08:00

Erm, can I have my bill? Grande-Sized please and thank you.

Today is the day i return to school, thought i'm not feeling my 100% =.=''' (i guess i'm feeling 65-70%?). I'm still having stomach aches/pains on and off but at least i feel MUCH better than the two days before.

Anyways back to the matter i wanted to blog about today. The "inspiration" for today's post came while on my way to school. I actually heard about it a lonnnnggg time back, but now listening to some of the public views made on the air, it got me thinking. What am I talking about? Our electrical bills of course.

Singapore Power or SP (not to be confused with Singapore Polytechnic), has released several statements to several forms of media like the newspaper and radio. Heres a response given to several disgruntled customers , who had written in to the Today newspaper. It is taken from the Todayonline website (link here)

Why you’re feeling the pinch :Hotter weather, highertariffs among the reasons

Letter from Koh Puay Ling (Ms)
Manager (Customer Services)
SP Services Ltd

I REFER to the feedback from your readers, Yan Dawei and Claire Elaine Jerusha Devan on their utility bills in the letters, “Why the sudden surge?” and “No lifestyle change, but bill soaring” (July 4).

We would appreciate it if they could contact us on 6823 8202 to provide us with their account numbers so that we can look into their specific bills.

There are various factors that may have an impact on utility bills. They include:

1.Changes in electricity tariffs

The electricity tariffs for households have increased for four consecutive quarters from 18.88 cents/kWh in April-June 2007 quarter to 23.88 cents/kWh in April-June this year and most recently to 25.07 cents/kWh for the July-September quarter due to rising oil prices. Some customers may begin to feel the cumulative impact of the increases only now.

2.Previous estimated bill

Bills are estimated in alternate months based on previous actual meter readings. Some customers’ meter readings in April this year may be under-estimated and when the actual readings were taken in May, the bill amount would be higher due to the adjustments for the under-billing in April.

3.Higher consumption

Consumption tends to be higher for the second and third quarters of the year compared to the first and last quarters due to the hotter weather. When the weather is hot, consumers tend to use more water and air-conditioning which can lead to higher energy use. Moreover, during the hotter months, air-conditioning consumes more power to maintain the same temperature compared to the cooler months.

4.Billing period

A typical billing cycle may vary from month to month, between 28 days and 32 days. The billing period may include five weekends, which could result in a perceived increase in the bill.

5.School holidays

Electricity usage can increase when there are more people and activities in the home during holidays and school vacations (for example, in May and June).

Customers can check if their consumption has increased by looking at the six-month consumption graph at the end of their bill. They can take the average of the two months April/May this year and compare it with February/March to see the change in consumption for the two periods. They can contact us at our customer service hotline 1800 222 2333 if they need any clarification regarding their utility bills.

Customers may also visit our website at www.services.spservices.sg and the National Environment Agency’s website at www.nccc.gov.sg for tips on saving electricity.

Well the reasons are quite reasonable, that is when you read it on paper/print. However during the radio show on 938Live this morning, some of the viewers stories really started to poke holes at some of the reasons that SP gave. A story that really got me thinking was of this lady, she had her family of 4 reduced to 3, due to the fact her child had enlisted into the army. Further more, She said her child was the person who used the most energy around the house. Hence even with the Tarrif increase and/or an increased temperature, the reduction of usage would either have made the bill increase abit at most right? WRONG! In fact, she said her bill INCREASED by a $100!Wow man.

Second Case, is of a guy. He doesn't like normal people (but he's not abnormal) check only the total amount needed to be paid, but instead he checks how much electricity he has used. well guess what? His average usage was about 400KwH but it jumped to 1000+Kwh! Now thats like a 150% INCREASE in usage!

And you wan to know the "BEST" part? These two unfortunate parties called Singapore Power, to ask for an explanation, and to cut a long story short, all Singapore Power did was sent some people to "check" on the meter, and on both occasions, they simply replied "The meter's working fine" What in the world sia.

Another point that raises my eyebrow is reason no. 2. If you gonna tell me that our bill's increase is caused by the inaccurate estimation, can i ask you guys why are you even using such inaccurate methods? This isn't exactly like a once in a while thing, but has been happening almost now FREQUENTLY!

So in ending heres a small note to Singapore Power.

~~Dear~~ Singapore Power,
Please even a student like I feel the reasons you give us people of singapore, are like those u give a three year old. Please get a better system because these bill hikes is absurb. with rising food/transportation/living cost. DON'T MAKE OUR LIVES HARDER THAN IT IS! Also if you gonna give the same response of sending your people to our houses to " check" our meter and eventually "find" that nothing is wrong with it, DON'T ASK PEOPLE TO CALL YOU FOR ASSISTANCE CAUSE IT'S NO HELP AT ALL! thank you. =(

Fan boy~

2008-07-17T08:47:00.004+08:00

Fan boy~
Hello people! Yeap, I'm still sick =/, but thank God I'm feeling MUCH better =].

Anyway I rarely become a fan of stuff. But around a year ago, I heard a song, Come Back Down, by this band called Lifehouse. I instantly fell in love with the song, and people who know me would know that i would have SEARCHED the internet for more of their songs. The more i heard, the more i fell in love with their songs and the band itself. Now, I can officially declare that I am their Fan Boy haha.

Alot of people has asked me why do i like Lifehouse soo much; why do most of the songs i know how to play on my guitar is their songs. Well, because their songs are open to interpretation, and. hence, i use it to relate how i feel. In fact i plan/have used their songs for important parts of my life. Like when Delight told me we couldn't be friends, I ran to my room and played "Blind" ~~while crying my heart out~~."Whatever It Takes" probably is gonna be used when i try and fix the broken relationship between me and Delight. "First Time" and "You and Me" would probably be used for the person i like, like during her birthday and our one month/one year anniversary. Yeap. It's not because they sound nice, but for me, they hold ALOT of meaning.

Ok i better stop the fanboy rant. Gotta take my meds. see you!

Sick =( ~

2008-07-16T18:11:00.002+08:00

Sick =( ~

Man it's been a longggg time since i got sick. And it feels HORRIBLE =(. I rather be in school today, I'm missing out on SCC activity, and sorry Seroyen, I haven't passed you my project work =.='''.

Anyway yesterday's poly day of prayer was AWESOME! Worship was great and for the first time i prayed for THAT long a time. Met some really nice people too (and of course saw a cute eyecandy =P). But yea, the main focus of yesterday was GOD so yeap didn't get any phone no. (awww =]). Anyways I'm more than certain about joing Campus Crusade at NP, Hope it draws me closer of being a worshiper, rather than just a guitarist. =]

For some reason keep thinking of Delight =S yeap even in my sick/half dying condition, i'm thinking of her =S sigh...wonder whether she would accept my apology....which i hope would be done THIS year...maybe Xmas?

Sorry for the post being like disorganised or with no purpose....my brain's still kinda dead.....soo yea....see you next time

Days Go By~

2008-07-14T07:17:00.003+08:00

Days Go By~

*Added Music Player Under Performances*
Yeap added a music players with tunes from Lifehouse, my Favourite band. Most songs are in their acoustic versions so blasting them wouldn't make your parents say "AH BOY/AH GIRL AH TOO NOISY!"(or at least i hope so XP) Anyway hope you like it! I would add tracks now and then but for now, here's Lifehouse! Enjoy! =)

I've been feeling LAZY nowadays, so can't really be bothered to post =/. Anyway nothing important happen so didn't feel the need to tag. Yeap I haven't been even feeling emo! i just feel...plain lazy =/. So anyway i shall blog about yesterday and abit of what happened on sat.

Yesterday was my Chruch's 22nd Anniversery. It was held on a smaller scale due to...erm reasons. The worship included like 5 worship leaders (actually 4...Matthew was doing backing only) and our chruch whole array of musical instrument; a electric and acoustic guitar, 2 keyboards, drumset, bass, trombone. Now if you from a big chruch like New Creation or City Harvest I think it's pretty normal for you guys, but my church being a small chruch rarely has sooooo many people /instruments on the stage at one time...The best part was that i was the sound engineer for that day =.='''' so yea...supposed to go chruch by 730AM but i overslept =.=''' anyway By God's grace and mercy, Worship was AWESOME, though a bit loud....

Yesterday was Clydia's last day in our chruch. She's gonna follow her soon-to-be Husband to his chruch haaha. I actually wanted say something to her but we weren't that close so i didn't dare. but i decided to type something out here :

Hello Clydia! Haha sorry this came one day late but i was KINDA shy yesterday...ok not kinda shy, I just didn't know exactly to say =/. We rarely interacted in church, mostly due to me being shy and "invisible" to alot of people. But through the little interactions we had, most of what the people said about you, being loving and caring, i can feel it too. And if through these small interactions i can feel it, I'm sure that you're full of love and care. I wish you a happy marriage and do comeback to C.O.P. haha. O and have fun in that church's ministry! haha See you Round!
-Joel =D

A final thing i wanted blog about was....WEBCAMMING WITH CHERYL haha SHES DAMN FUNNY lah...as much as i want to show you the funny moments, She FORBID me to take any pics and screenshots =.=''' Anyway can't wait till we meet up to learn some of
Yui's Songs haha it's gonna be a BLAST

I still see images of you around me wherever i turn,
but i'm glad we're still friends,
and i hope nothing will ever take that away.

Forgetting is Denial, Denial is Forgetting =(

2008-07-11T14:09:00.002+08:00

Forgetting is Denial, Denial is Forgetting =(

Gosh i typed a long post but decided to del it before eugene says i'm preachy haiyo..........anyway bottom line of this post is that I'm SAD/EMO-ing sigh....

XxXxXx IDON'TMISSYOUIDON'TMISSYOU~~imissyou~~IDON'TMISSYOUIDON'TMISSYOU

I'm Loving It!~=D

2008-07-08T22:31:00.002+08:00

I'm Loving It!~=D

LOVE. Four commonly used letters form the most important word we can ever imagine. A word that holds soo much meaning behind it, that it can save lives at times.

What is love? Can we live without it? The answer is NO! Love is something soo essential in our lives , I'm certain without it, the person will just die of love-deficiency. Ok all kidding aside...EVERYONE needs love!

However over the years, this word's TRUE meaning is ignored and nowadays people use it soo sparingly, you wonder whether the word contains any meaning now. There used to be a time when COUPLES are afraid to say it to each other (mostly the guys are the scared ones =.='''). Why? Because they know the word holds soo much meaning, and by saying it could change your life!

I'm not saying that nowadays when a friend says "I love You", it is meaningless, but rather, the word's meaning now holds less weight than it did before in the past. But what seriously irks me is that some people use it even when they dislike the person. Most of you people would have seen what i mean in real life. I'm tooo lazy to even explain.

Some people might point out that single people don't receive love. Well the love doesn't just mean relationship love (BGR love), it can come from anywhere, be it family, friends or eve a passion for a hobby. Which is why you don't see any singles dying from the lack of love.

A final point i want to make about love is that it's not always or giving/receiving, but rather a balance of the two. Also note that love is sacrificial where you have to give and take some things about your other half. NO ONE is perfect (except God...Lucky him/her)

To me I would never tell my friends I love this girl, even though i do like her ALOT. Why? Because I firmly believe that love is a TWO way thing. What do i mean? I mean, unless i'm sure she feels the same way about me, I'll never say i LOVE (the love kind of love as in BGR sense) you.

OMG that was a horribly useless rant =.=''' LOL anyway on a ending note, I would like to convey this message to anyone who reads this blog. Always treasure what you have now, don't wait till it's gone before you realise how much it means to you. Cause life is short, and you'll never know what would happen.

Happy Birthday Jason!

2008-07-07T20:12:00.002+08:00

Just found out it was Jason Wade's birthday on the 5th (some lousy fan I am....) anyway heres a music clip for you jason!

Happy Birthday To You You by Yui

If you're wondering what it means...

Happy Birthday to You You
Happy birthday to you you
Happy birthday to you you
Here’s a birthday song for you, OK?

Sorry to give you a shock
I’m so glad I could see you on this special day
Blow out the candles
And we’ll make a toast – happy birthday!

Happy birthday to you you
Happy birthday to you you
Happy birthday to you you, thanks for everything!
Happy birthday to you you
Happy birthday to you you
Here’s a birthday song for you, OK?

I want you to stay near me all the time
And tell me your special dreams
Hope things go well from now on
I’ve got you a present too, happy birthday!

Happy birthday to you you
Happy birthday to you you
Happy birthday to you you, thanks for everything!
Happy birthday to you you
Happy birthday to you you
Here’s a birthday song for you, OK?

From now on I’ll be with you even on hard days
I want to grow old with you like this

Happy birthday to you you
Happy birthday to you you
Happy birthday to you you, thanks for everything!
Happy birthday to you you
Happy birthday to you you
Here’s a birthday song for you, OK?

I don't really want you to think like i'm gay or anything (due to some of the lryics being a bit =S) i just want tot use this song wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Friends Forever....ok? =]

2008-07-07T07:32:00.008+08:00

Friends Forever....ok? =]

*Motivational Quote of the Day added in "Self-Entitled" section of sidebar!*

I recently read this in a 'Today' newspaper.

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
by Dr Bil Maier

KEEPING YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE
Making friends is one thing; keeping them is another. We all need friends in our lives to keep us going, but we don’t always have time to stay close. The best relationships are long-term ones and there are a few concrete things we can do to keep our friendships alive and strong. Set aside some time to meet friends, even if it’s just for 30 minutes over a cup of coffee. When life gets busy, it’s easy to go for months without seeing those who are important to us and that can be solved by a simple call. Keep a list of special birthdays and anniversaries and don’t forget to send a card or note. It’s amazing how much it means to people when they know you care enough to remember special dates. If you’re pressed for time, try coordinating your to-do lists. Maybe you could shop together or meet friends at the gym a few times a week. It’s a great way to stay in touch with those you seldom get to see.
We all need friends.

I couldn't agree more. This article really spoke to me, because I think I hold friendship as one of the most important, if not the most important,(other than God of course) aspect of my life. In life, I don't think i can imagine a person going through life with out a single friend. To go through all those pain and hardships with no one to share the burden with. After reading this article, I felt guilty. Here I am complaining how I have only a few friends, when in the first place, i never make time to see or meet up with my old friends from secondary school and primary school.

This article also reminded me of the mistakes I made, more specifically, the mistakes i made towards Delight. I let my hormones get the better of me and in the process lost a great friend. But I guess this a good life changing experience where I learnt something from losing her friendship, which is why you see me nowadays not going after a girl I like simply because i rather have the friendship, rather than confess and lose it all.

Friendships are sooo important not only because they provide you with emotion support, but also they bring joy in every single moment. A moment with your friends is never a dull moment, and with every second you learn more about the person, good points and bad points. But even with your bad points, they'll still love you for who you are. So hence I would like to thank certain friends now:

Steph, for putting with all the emo bullshit I have once in a while. Just by simply smiling you can put a smile back on my fac regardless of how i feel =) thanks gal!

Jamie, even though we might not be that close, still have to thank you for helping me keep the secret =D a moment with you is never a dull moment

Cory, thanks for being there all this years Love you mei!

Jieyu, Lemuel and the rest of the Teo brothers, LOVED and MISS the times we had in pri school! MEET up soon!

Joshua aka Kirro, haha Remember Finding Nemo? haha thanks for being my first friend in secondary school.

Alicia formerly from Nangyang Girls school, We lost contact but still I want to say sitting next to you during the last year of pri school was awesome! Hope to see you someone again!

Jocelyn, OMG haha one of my first crushes and we're still friends XDD, thanks for not throwing our friendship away.

Renqi and Viknesh, Thanks guys for making the last years of my secondary life a tiny bit enjoyable! meet up soon man!

Joyce, Hey jie haha thanks for leading me in the way of christ and listen me out when i needed

Christabel, LOL we go back sooo long! haha thanks for talking to me online recently when i was down. your insights help me make the RIGHT choice.

Jodi, thanks for still being friends

Tohru, I still cannot believe you put me in your love list <3 you back =3

Gman, new friend so don't really know you, just don't slack soo much man

To all the rest I don't have time or forgotten to thank, a very warm thank and don't be surprised if i called any of you out of the blue ok? =D

Delight, even though we're not friends anymore and theres only this very off chance you might see this, i wan to say thanks for giving me a chance to be your friend even after you knew =] and that i'm sorry I blew that chance and things are this way. Hope we'll patch this friendship back again ok? =] and to conclude this post heres video deicated to all my friends! Old, new or even those forgotten ones XDD

Thanks For the memories by Fall Out Boy

Sleepless nights and drawn out days ~

2008-07-07T00:59:00.003+08:00

Sleepless night and drawn out days~

Sunday = chruch day for me. well today was also the day i rEALLY understand the meaning of DEADline =.=''' well bottom line i si managed to do my project finished! YAY no more project...SHYT just remebered about test/...... sigh.....student life is wel...getting duller every single second...causewe r always worrying... brain not hinking of anything to type.o yea...i posted a new cover...

sians...for some reason...i'm finding more and more things about delight...WAAA god...iwill fix the friendship don't worry! rawr brain stopped working
bb

T-T am i that irritating jamie? rawr >.<'''''''''''''

sigh wonder...why do people find me that way?

DEADlines =.= whheeee....

2008-07-05T20:20:00.003+08:00

DEADlines =.= whheeee....
Ever wondered why deadlines are called DEADLINES? Well it's cause it's almost certain some people will DIE trying to meet it. Need an example? well look no further cause I'm one of them haha. My AMP essay would be rushed tonight and tomorrow and i hope i would be able to finish it...Sometimes I wonder, students often say "SO STRESS!" or " school is stressful man..." or something along that line. But i wonder, isit really School/School work Causing the Stress? or the students themselves giving themselves stress?How do the students pile stress on themselves? haha ONE word, PROCRASTINATION! haha they keep telling themselves " I'll Do it Later", and when later comes, they tell themselves the same thing....all the way till like near the date line they suffer from "Last Minute Panic", as jamie put it, and hence heap a whole load of stress into their daily diet.

Anyway today was ROCKING haha. Went to Guitar lesson but today my guitar teacher wasn't there.In his place however was another cool dude haha..HE WAS GREAT very different from what my guitar teacher as in teaching style wise and such. Also seems like i'm able to relate to him better haha maybe because hes younger? Next headed back to Pasir Ris for CosFest haha Pretty COOL haha sawe a cosaplayer in a GUNDAM costume OMG it was VERY WELL DONE..will post pics once i have the time.

A relatively short post today cause i still have to do my project....yeap see you guys next time!

Sensitivity? HIGH seriously =.='''

2008-07-04T16:07:00.003+08:00

Sensitivity? HIGH seriously =.='''
First Off i would like to say i'm sorry for my first post of the day...my moods on a rollercoaster ride recently, esp with the situation of XxXxXx. I'm considering what Jamie and Steph said to me...actually not just considering I really believe what they said too. like there's no hope between me and her. i mean...i BARELY know her...so yea...i'll lay low...as in stay as a friend haha. yeap i feel much better....and i decided after reading Joe's Blog...I shall remain positive!

From Where You Are~

2008-07-04T13:14:00.004+08:00

From Where You Are~
From Where You Are - Jason Wade/Lifehouse

Just felt lonely again...seems i been feeling more like this nowadays...and sometimes, i wished i was dead =(

It's true that having material posessions alone wouldn't bring you happiness...i have things that some people wouldn't dream of having yet...i feel like i'm the most lonely person int he world at times...It's not a fun thing to feel lonely...i really want at times to just die...cause i'm sure it wouldn't matter if i'm dead or alive...still i'm alive for some reason...

during times like this...I often turn to this song just to probably say how i feel? Blind too but...it cointains more romantgic elements for me...so...yea..enjoy this song D=

Untitled : Anger Mangement

2008-07-04T07:45:00.004+08:00

Untitled : Anger Mangement
Goodbye Days by Yui

Today's post is titled UNTITLED. Why? because my brain is in too much of a mess to even think of a proper one. In a mess because i realised how useless i am at socializing and making friends . In a mess because I'm always losing things, be it material posession or friendships. In a mess because i have no freaking clue as to what to do about XxXxXx.

Yes I know life isn't easy and that solutions won't drop from the sky. But seriously, this is really too much for my fragile emotional self to handle.YES I'm a gentle giant, even if i don't seem that way, I do care deeply about people and the stuff they say. I try to ignore most of the comments i hear or the labels being dished out by my classmates but seriously, its the same getting shot at while wearing a kevlar vest. YES you' won't die from the bullet but still you get hurt. I've been given names ever since primary 5 or 6 but back then, the friends that call me porky WERE REALLY my friends...when i moved on to Secondary School, due to the fact i was the only EPPS-ian going to that school, i never really had any true friends, with the exception of a few people...Now in poly, it's worse. aguy whom i thought is my true friend turns out to be a mindless guy who goes with the flow. now i grouped together with a few people and labeled as gays. WELL EXCUSE ME YOU SO-CALLED "EDUCATED" CLASSMATES OF MINE. Just being different DOESN'T, I REPEAT, DOESN'T make you gay. And if you guys think it's all in good fun then you guys should be ashamed to be called educated. I'm sick of you guys doing all this kind of crap and stuff. I'm sick of how SOME of you can politely ask whether you can play my guiitar, then later on treat me like some kind of diseased person. JUST because i have more respect for the opposite sex and not STARE or talk about how "hot" is she DOSEN'T MEAN I LIKE GUYS! Just because I think differently from you guys doesn't mean I'm gay. Just because i do certain things THAT you don't doesn't warrent me any different from you guys. You guys can get hurt and sad right? WELL so can I! You guys can get angry right? I' m no FREAKING DIFFERENT.
It's sad how people like me and a few others get critised because of our looks, the way we do things, and how we think. Hey we're ALL human beings and have EMOTIONS ok. Cause seriously all the "behind the back" talking or straight on labeling of me and my friends is making me very pissed. "so what if i'm pissed?" might be going through some of my classmate minds (i can think of a few...) if they read this ...well remember the saying "never poke a sleeping dragon in the eye"? i suggest u listen to it.

I envy David ( YES David from FOC) I mean even with all his bad points (drinking, smoking sorry david D= for saying this here), he manages to do one thing that eludes me to this day, making friends and socialising. He can be such good friends with Jamie and a WHOLE bunch of other people. Me? I'm mostly ignored by most of these people. Wonder how does he do it. To make matters worse, I'm shy. =.=''' and though after i "warm up" I can talk alot, it's the first impression that counts and being shy and all doesn't help with people's first impression of me.

Another reason why i envy him is because he seems to be able to be close friends with most of my crushes. A thing I don't think i can ever do. In fact, I doubt i'm even a friend to XxXxXx.

That concludes my post for today...a horribly long rant about my life. But what i mentioned above about labeling people doesn't just apply to me but to EVERYONE as well. ok cya

A Fresh New Start : Forgetting Memories~

2008-07-03T10:14:00.004+08:00

A Fresh New Start
haha a very warm welcome to the revamped version of my blog haha....spent nearly 5 hours doing this or rather modding it...anyway hope you guys like the change!

well i was thinking through whether was it wise to like confess to XxXxXx....till now haven't reached a decision...I mean it's like...a part of me wants to give up so that the friendship might be saved...while another part of me keeps hounding on the fact there might be the OFF chance of her liking me...as much as i want to look at the brightside, I really can't help but feel that the brightside is too bright, or in layman's term, unrealistic...I actually don't feel like blogging much......so yea...mayb i'll update later...ciaos

It's almost impossible I know, But yet my heart says go
they say time heals everything, but what if it only made it worse?

Sorry~

2008-07-02T07:20:00.003+08:00

*Video of the month has changed ENJOY* : due to the fact only three ppl answered my poll i'm just gonna post another music video...PLEASE LIKE DO THE POLL NEXT TIME HAHA o and also my johari window CLICK HERE

Well title pretty much sums up this posts sorry to whoever reads this blog for not posting, sorry to steph for being paraniod...I really haven't been myself lately...why? a combination of lovesickness, lack of sleep, and my own imagination. I think i'm goin crazy =S...It's another one of those times where I feel so small, so insignificant in this world. With no purpose or like ANYTHING. that really gets me sad inside cause now i really don't have any dreams....ok mayb except maybe getting in a band...which explains why i been practicing mor eon Skye and Lyla.

Well I have been talking to my godsis recently and i realised that, I too see a girl's looks. As in i mind if my future half is VERY ugly..=_=''' ok i'm not being what here but seriously as much asi don't want ot believe it, it's true...I have this feeling this girl (one year older) has feelings for me cause she litterally says hi everytime i go online =_='''. she's good for a friend but seriously i would not like accept her mainly because of her looks....=_=''' not disrespecting any boyfriends with somewhat "ugly" girlfriends, cause 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. But though i say i look at looks it doesn't mean when i see a pretty girl i stare, cause i seriously find that rude ( though girls or guys for that matter, if u see me staring at you i'm trying figure out who you are in my head cause you look familier), neither do i rush to that girl and ask for her no. . I find myself only liking those that are kinda or already my friends....so yea =.='''

Maybe thats the reason why i NEVER get a girlfriend? my standards are too high? My crushes on Delight and now XxXxXx are most likely impossible...i mean if i won't accept a girl who i don't find attractive, it must be the same for them too right?then another reason that my god sister said was my height...and the way that i look...what i mean? well i'm freaking 1.8+ metres tall and hence i easily tower over MOST people, even women in high heels. i mean girls want tall dark and handsome but i'm just too tall for most girls to like me i guess =/ which brings the saying " too much of a good thing is a BAD thing." Somemore i'm not exactly handsome (heck chuck me in the bargin bin where the slightly below average guys are placed), hence my height right now is a BADDD thing...

Another thing that makes me wonder is whether or not i would make a good boyfriend...Which i really cannot say. I mean when I care, i DO care for that person, friend or family or even my girlfriend.however i feel sometimes i bring the caring part over the line up to the point where maybe the person i care for feels akward or to the point where it becomes almost an obssesion. I'm also too sensitive to EVERYTHING especially if the person means something to me (Which pretty much includes all my friends and family). A simple action of ignoring me would send my mind racing through all the stuff i done. Why? cause i would think that i done something wrong to piss that particular person off...and one of my friends believe i give up too easily cause i'm a strongly believe that if the person is/would be happier with someone else,I would give up faster than you can convince me not to. some have calle dme dumb for doing this but hey, liking someone (I won't use the word Love why? i explain in the next paragraph) doesn't mean you need to own it? right? cause as long as the object of your affection is happy you should be too right?

In saying that some of you might wonder why did i use liking instead of loving? that is because i strongly believe that it isn't love till it becomes a two way thing, something that I now have doubts of it ever coming true...and now i'm wondering...since XxXxXx is happy with what she has, shouldn't i feel happy too and give her up?

The Day You Were Born~

2008-06-30T07:32:00.004+08:00

Hello ^-^ i have no idea why i used that emo-con even though i'm not THAT happy...NO i'm not emoing....ok mabe i'm a little...=.=''' RAWRS i hate feeling emo...why? LOL unless i trust you, you would never find out =.='''

Anyway yesterday (nearly typed today =.=''') was Gman's birthday...yeap his house wasdamn big O.O''' IT HAD A THEARTE downstairs WTHwthWTH!Anyway it was sorta/kinda fun? ok lah at least it be more fun than ANY party i hold (RAWR!!!i suck at planning....can't even plan an outing or get together, let alone a party zzz...... =.=''') so anyway got him a present hope you like it...while at the party i was singing my heart (and probably throat and lungs out) a guy actually ask me be on his band for an event!LOL that band gets PAID OMG....am i that good? =/ and also Kiiro ( who should be joshua aka. yoshi from SGSS) tagged saying he wan co produce CD...LOL EH KIROO IF U do GET IN MEDIACORP GIVE ME A CHANCE LOL!!!o and before i forget, heres a song for gman for the day he was born

Some of you people after reading what i wrote above might think i'm like desperate to be known....or famous...well who wouldn't want ot be famous? but seriously IF I DO GO INTO MUSIC (which has a probability of less than 5% of happening now =.=''') I'll do it because i love music. To me being a musician/performer, your music comes first over money and fame.

Why do i love music? well it helps me express some of my feelings in a way that i probably wouldn't be able to express myself....for example this song

Yeap...basically it's a love song about how much you willing to go for the one you love....even to the point of death.Kiro (Joshua) wrote on his blog about how he feels about dying for the one he loves...and frankly i carry a different perspective on that.I would still die for the one i love...like seriously...okok this sounds like self praise...RAWR....anyways that song means alaot to me too because it doesn't just represent how i feel bout YOU (who probably don't read my blog/ don't know i'm talking bout YOU) it also represents how i feel about all my friends!
Steph, Jamie, and dare i say it =.=''''Gman,and my god sis cory yea...there are more too like *cough*delight*cough* even though she doesn't treat me like a friend i still treat her like one...yeaps...Jamie you that time asked what i mean by protect HER right? i guess this songs the answer i wan give in a nutshell?

I'm feeling rawr-ish today so to end this post i bid u a fond farewell RAWR! XDD

Broken Once Again

2008-06-26T20:55:00.003+08:00

Meomories of You by Joel ~

As i look around,
I'm reminded of you.
Reminded of the times,
I bet You never knew.
In the dark,silent night,
I cry alone.
Because I know,
That I'm the one, .
who made it all disappear.
Now as i try to fix this brokeness,
I find myself likeing someone close to you.
But I dare not move.
Cause I'm haunted by memories of you.
I'm just hoping for a chance.
Not cause I want win her heart,
But also to get you back
as a friend nontheless....

RAWR i'm feeling emoish....Delight posted new pics on friendster =.=''' i'm not suppowsed to see them...but....yea....it reminded me of not to make the same mistake...but still i'm gonna try....one day YOU will see...i just hope it doesn't turn out to be like Delight

Yesterday & Today~

2008-06-26T07:32:00.002+08:00

Yesterday & Today - Do As Infinity

As the title implies gonna blog about yesterday and today haha ok well yesterday was a GREAT day haha it was PURE awesomeness lah...(MORE awesome than Jamie the awesome XDD). Brought Skye for her first jam session? Did'nt go as plan...she received a dent to her back by who knows what or who...but that's ok i still love her as much o^.^o <3s! o and i think i was really getting into the mood at the jam session....TOO into as i snaped her A string?Lucky not her G-String....if not you see people laughing away =.='''' o well that concludes the YESTERDAY part....today part will come later!check back for updates yea?

=.=''' TIRED

2008-06-25T23:07:00.002+08:00

Title says it all.....TOO tired to post anything of worth...promise i'll inform u guys tmr k? nights....O and tonight ROCKED XDD

hey thanks for talking to me k?haha i hope one day i would tell you i like you!

Scott Kalitta : Thanks~

2008-06-24T19:16:00.006+08:00

You know i wake up almost everyday...and regret SOMETHING i have done....well i just watched a video of a race car driver by the name Scott Kalitta...heres the video of what happened

Yea I have no idea who is this...SERIOUSLY...but still i'm paying my tribute to him because an important lesson can be learnt from this...NEVER take anyone for granted because...they might be gone in a blink of the eye :'( it also reminded me not to have regrets in my life and why i wanted to protect all those who I love...so as to perhaps prevent them form being snatched sooo suddenly from us all...And so to Scott's Family, Friends and Fans...my condolences to you all...and at least be comforted by the fact that he died doing what he LOVED to do

and that is why i wan protect YOU

The Eye of the Storm ~

2008-06-24T07:13:00.003+08:00

Have you guys heard of the eye of the storm? In a hurricance storm system.....when everywhere is chaos, things being flung around...buildings blown away....u would expect the centre of the storm to be where the most violent winds are right? however, the centre of a hurricane is not even remotely dangerous...there are no violent winds... no nothing....in fact the only thing dangerous about it is the false sense of safety it gives to people...because suround the eye is where the most violent winds are...

Thats pretty much how i feel now...i got through a rough period last night with the help of Steph and my God-Sis...still i feel quite empty inside...why?Well from yesterday's "message" you should be able to guess...I might be looking too much at it but yea....anyway after that it made me feel what i don't want to feel...alone...and that i probably won't get attached, won't get my first kiss etc. yea it's strange for a guy to think like that...but what can i say? i'm not as much as a loner as some of you guys think.....

Anyway heres a video for YOU...even though YOU probably never read my blog or even know i'm refering to you.....

And i know i posted this video before.....but don't ask why.

And lol =.='''paul twohill just walked pass and sat a few tables away...(Haven't he graduated already? O.o)

I LOVE MY APPLE!

2008-06-23T20:00:00.006+08:00

ANYWAY TODAY WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!!! Met up with my FOC group, Apple Pi...yeap to collect our HOODIES! haha even though it was a short and brief meet=up, i could still feel the energy that i felt from them, during FOC...the friendliness, the HYPERNESS lol yeap Thanks guys for another wonderful memory ^-^and heres some pics to remeber this day by...

i saw you today...again...this time u seem to look at me more?but not in a good way.....its like in a way saying you know...and that it will never come true...I'm no longer holding on to it, though i still feel something for you. so please....please don't let our friendship spoil, cause i REALLY just wan to be friends with you

RAWRboredomRAWR~

2008-06-23T14:47:00.005+08:00

I'm really bored lol....yea...and instead of like doing my PROJECT, I'm blogging and watching music videos LOL...yea first day of school started and SERIOUSLY it felt like school didn't take a break @ all....as in you know when you come back from a break? you have to like "get used" to school life again? the waking up early, the constant bombardment of info and such...however....today felt very...well like what school was before the break....maybe it's cause i went to work?or maybe the break's too short? o well...it's a good thing anyway...haha so anyway..she hasnt been talking to me...i wonder whether she knows? i hope not...

Anyway theres a few annoucement i wan make,first of is that the Zeta Pi Hoodies are here! For those that ordered go to NPSU's office to collect it ok?up to this thurs if i remeber correctly! ^-^

Another annoucement i wan to make is about the video of the month, as you know june is ending soon, so yea...i'll be changing the video to SOMETHING else...was wondering if u guys have any suggestions? please do the poll( if it's up ) or leave a comment on taggy on what YOU want to see? Be it my covers, Music videos, Comedy...name your GENRES! ahaha but strictly SFW stuff k guys?

OOO and guys please DO my johari window...haha it's interesting so help me complete it kies? more updates later....mean while here's lifehouse blind...ENJOY!

My <3 Skye !~ ^-^

2008-06-22T15:37:00.002+08:00

hello people AS PROMISED i'm posting pics of My new Beloved SKYE! haha but sorry 2 pics only haha

First Time~

2008-06-21T20:58:00.002+08:00

First Time By Lifehouse

Remeber the first time you did anything? and you fell instantly with it?Yeap That Describes my new electric guitar WOO~!Pics next time....but meanwhile... heres the song i'm practicing
First Time haha it also descibe what i feel about ALL my curshes...pass and present...causer everyone is a new experience.... haha ( But that doesn't mean i still like you =.=''') Ciao

Sentimental Much~?

2008-06-20T20:31:00.003+08:00

lol today's the last day of work!....and that means BABY! Tomorrow! lol...before anyone gets a heart attack...the baby i'm refering to is the elec i've been working to get...haha NO its not the Ibanez guitar i showed earlier but rather the Cort G210....need a pic?

Yeap she isn't the DREAM guitar I wanted but she'll do...i AM a beginner after all so yea........

Anyway i'm missing ALL my friends T-T this song is for you guys!ALL of you

sigh...nothing much to post about...so heres song request by one of my friend......once again don't turn the volume up too high...you wouldn't want anythng to break right?

O and Shiyun's back! ^-^ welcome back Shi!

Me-Tube o^.^o

2008-06-19T19:50:00.002+08:00

See the title? yeap...you tube should be RENAMED that man....ahaha so heres another video of me singing....>.<''''turn down the vol if not anythng break not my fault... Take me Away Capella~

anyway work is getting BORING....yea....and plus the recent insomnia spell...i been very tired too....well theres good news...tomorrow's the LAST day of work YAY! which means PAY! yeap...but....that also reminds me i haven't really done my project yet...yea =.=''''' dieeeeeee lol sians...but yes...omg the last part of the day i was like imaging me rocking out to hanging by a moment by lifehouse on my elec....O GOD I cannot wait...haha

O and shi's supposedly back today....yeap so gonna send her a welcome back msg now tata!

Crazy ~

2008-06-18T17:31:00.002+08:00

I must be crazy....i actually uploaded a video of me SINGING AND PLAYING the guitar ON YOUTUBE =.=''' its a truely "historic" and probably dumb moment for me....cause....the song i played was easy..but i havnt commit it to memory yet....still...yea...i made a few errors....and its only a small part of the original....O man COMMENTS lol!Please...yea this time i WANT to improve!

Take Me Away (short) - Joel Tng

Goodbye, Goodnight and Dreams Galore~

2008-06-17T00:26:00.003+08:00

Hello peeps...yeap I'm still up even after saying my goodbyes and night. haha I cannot really sleep for some reason these days...maybe it's cause i miss her? I doubt its entirely because of her though...While talking to Steph, I realised that i didn't have a so called "Dream Girl"...i mean i do have a "Dream Date" but yea....which leads me to wonder...what are the things that make me like HER and the others i liked before...But one thing i can say for sure is that I want protect ALL of them even the ones that say I cannot be friends with them =D ( I WILL FIX THAT BROKEN FRIENDSHIP)

Also I realised I'm having a new obsession...with music and guitars...i wrote a little song for Joanna yesterday...AND i should be getting the Cort elec THIS SAT WOOHOO~! that gives me the needed energy to last this week hahao and heres one of my dream guitar...well actually its the same kind/type...but not my dream guitar haha so that concludes this post catch you guys in a bit!

The Ibanez AF75D ain't she a beauty? =D

Empty, But Thankful =D

2008-06-15T14:50:00.008+08:00

Empty - The Click Five

Hey guys!Yeap after a long hiatus I'm back. Nope I've not been emo-ing or anything, just plain old busy ahaaha yeap so anyway heres the updates for the day before yesterday, yesterday and today =]

Fri

This the "book" from which i took the data and entered it into....

This Computer....yea....i'm a data logger haha

But being a teenager i obviously had time to snack....

and also...do STUPID STUFF LIKE CAMWHORE OMG...

Then headed to raffles city where i took this awesome view
YEAP had dinner there where i s5tuffed myself sily haha!

Sat
Sat was pretty standard...wth the exception that i left home earlier to meet up with david, jamie, shiyun and din to er..."celebrate" david's birthday....so went to PS at 12.... the ARRANGED MEETING TIME....but david was still in pasir ris...and jamie ,shi and din were busy =.= leaving me alone to roam PS, possibly the worst place for me to be let loose...theres NOTHING i can do there so i went to yamaha and literally looked at guitars for nearly 40 mins....before deciding to leave before the staff threw me out for "hogging" their workpiece so then daavid reached late met with him, then with jamie and gang before walking a big circle to B1 then to the top floor....i hd to leaveby then so i said my goodbye and headed for guitar class. I tried out the guitars i wanted after class before slacking and heading to worship practice LATE...sigh sorry matthew >.<>.< zzzz c u guys!

Anyway for today's song i chosen Click Five's Empty...haha its a nice song...and as always IT SPEAKS TO ME! so yea enjoy

A Prayer

2008-06-12T23:22:00.002+08:00

O GOD!...please let this prayer reach you!and please LEAVE A RESPONSE....WHY ISIT SOMEDAY I CAN SING WELL and on some i suck like shit WHY?!?!??! same applies to guitar too!why do sometimes i can have sucha great time with certain people but the next time i just cannot have fun with them, they avoid me like i got an illness so contagious....why isit people don't like me for who i am?why do certain people care at times, then at times they don't? WHY GOD WHY>>? why can't i get my love?why can't i be better looking?why can't I Have more Friends??>???WHY?!??!?!??!?!?!??!?

I realise this prayer has more I, me and myself....PLEASE HELP ME CHANGE THAT!!!!AND PLEASE HELP ME IN DECIDEDING SHOULD I GO FOR HER ?PLEASE!!!!

Hanging on a Moment ~

2008-06-12T20:13:00.004+08:00

Hanging By a Moment - Lifehouse

Hello peeps!Yes as you can tell(or maybe you can't...) I'm feeling better...how long it would last remains to be seen though...Today went to work as usual...I'm almost done with the data entry....YAY!haha o and the week's coming to an end, meaning it's one week closer to my crumpler an electric guitar!Hence i chose this song hanging by a moment to be today's video...yeap Another thng making me happy is that i got the Intro of this song NAILED!!WOOHOOO! yes! now i wonder whether can find a bassist that like lifehouse den can play with dom and me ^-^ OMG i so wan ttot jam this song....

Also as you can see, i placed ads on the blog...some might find it a pain so i apologize...ia lso realised that there isn't much readers but i'm hoping that will change over time....and NO you don't HAVE to click on the ads...but if you do see anything interesting please click!it's mostly music stuff and what nots....so yea...Also i added a link to my johari window please do!haha serious this one MUST DO! haha

anyway sat is coming wehich means the showdown ( of sorts =/) between the Cort G200 and Cort X-2, the electric guitars i'm considering....yeap haha...

and to XXXXX this song's for you!

Broken~

2008-06-12T00:09:00.004+08:00

Broken by Lifehouse

hello guys...yes i didnt blog....ok i'm now but...anyway u get the picture...

how i type now is like what i m now...a confused MESSED UP piece of wreck which is my life, broken in other words like this song....so i went down to talk to someone i can talk to, and hopefully find some peace...i did...by reading Shiyun's blog, se has a song From prince casapian...yea music does AMAZING things i tell you....

then i went to JAMIE's blog...today her last part of the blog worte pretty meaningful stuff heres a snippet
"I get really disturbed when I read people's blogs and them complaining about how they think their lives are so screwed up over little things, how much homework they have, how much their parents are pissing them off and they want to die and etc etc. I know I do that sometimes, but I came to one point where I realised how lucky I am to be able to worry and get angry over things like that."
Unfortunately i'm not jamie...i cannot be like her...and well be happy for the small things cause...your life is really meangless when u r alone right?worse still ifu hav no PURPOSE/sense of Purpose in your life.....

her blog also quotes
"You only find a few people in this world, a few people who will tell you they
love you, and mean it with all their heart."

yea for me i feel that i found almost none....mayb one or two but other than that....noone else....and even with these soo few ppl i know...i'm afraid that they too don't care as much as I do......

I REALLY wonder without me...how would everyone turn out? maybe my poly friends like jamie, shiyun and steph and gman would have a BETTER friend....maybe some one might have gotten in to the course i'm in and CHANGE the industry altogether...

I REALLY want to change people's world...in a good way of course ...to be there for ALL my friends....when they need it....however it seems i'm doomed to remain invisible......unnoticed by the outside world.....I mean don't mind not recongised for what i do and such causse thats NOT the point....i help or listen (or try to at least) my friends so that they may not meet the same fate as me...a wondering soul with no purpose or direction....and that they be happy...i don't expect anythng in return....but i could do with some Love.......

nuyihs : this the only wway i can do this now...but i want to BE there for you...almost like your BFFs are there for you...but i cannot seem to reach you now.....>.

Life Critical Warning!

2008-06-10T18:41:00.004+08:00

You know when your laptop has a warning that it has critically low power before it hibernates so as to prevent your work from getting erased/corrupted when your laptop FINALLY runs out of battery power? Well thats KINDA my life right now in a nutshell.Why? because of how emotionally drained I feel...=.=, and how thats affecting me...NO it's not cause i keep thinking bout HER that gets me drained.It's Seeing things I know I'll NEVER EVER EXPERIENCE cause i miss the only period of time i'm able to do so.What am I talking about? read on....

Well wroking is fine and no i don't REALLY get bored ( till like its almost time to go home...) so yea...when i'm in my father's car after work, i m exhausted, tired. Come back home to a average dinner...and on the com...THEN i read people's blog and see how much FUN they are having with their FRIENDS or rather their BFFs...I mean I was pretty much a social outcast in secondary school...having to come back early after school, being shy, being different, not allowed to go ANYWHERE till like i'm sec 3...and even then i went out very little time...all this thanks to my parents...no i don't blame them...cause I'm who i am because of what i been through...ALL my friendships now, no matter whether the relationship is broken or dying, i hold VERY VERY dear to my heart...sometimes...i think i put it in front of GOD. Yes i do have friends...but most of them wouldn't even bother if i stopped existing...as in die ...i mean the closest friend i have now...well...shes a NEW friend hence we r not as close as jamie and her bff...sometimes i really stop and think...me alive isit REALLY worth it? afriend told me it wasn't worth investing your tyime, effort and money on building human relationships cause it would end up to nothing....as much as i LIKE to disagree...i truthfully cannot cause...really till now i don't think ANYONE ,except 2 or 3 people would care...i bet that even the dear readers of this blog don't care...I mean all my life spent being invisible....NO i don't want to be popular or anythng...i just..w.ant to be loved, and probably cared for...by people wom i feel the same way too...

And this the reason why i'm so afraid to move in this rollar coaster ride between my crush and me. If i make a move, i might lose MORE THAN one friendship.If I don't i might also lose the relationship anyway...

the number of blog hits jumped about ten from last night...but so far i count ONE tagg...omg...shows you how people care huh?

So far away from where you are,
Who we are have torned us apart,
But i miss you,
and wished you were here.
I missed the days where you're around
but somehow,I know YOU wouldn't even care.
Even if i were to drown,
YOU wouldnt be sad or hurt or even just miss me
='(

Plug me in to a friend...please?

A moment of silence....

2008-06-09T20:33:00.003+08:00

I got a lot of thing to blog...but no heart to blog...sigh....I'm kinda emo now...so yea... i no hjeart to play with lyla too.....damn it.....tink sochii's bad mood rubbed off me...zzz.....also for some reason i'm GORGING myself on FOOD OMG...sigh sry ppl thats all for now

Everytime you push me away,
It seems you draw me in.
Everytime I try to forget,
You come crashing in.

Saturday = fun FUN FUN!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-08T15:41:00.004+08:00

Yes, I didn't blog yesterday and hence I'm apologising for that...(i have no idea why i apologise....the only person who gets dissapointed that i don't post is g-man... =/)

Anyway, heres what happen for Saturday.

As usual, woke up in the morning and played my Xbox, and then get ready for my guitar class @ 1...my father decided to send me there so we got into his fixed car...man...it smells like glue inside that car... so yea reached Music Lab (my so called "music school") and like took off my shoes and walked towards my class...that is until a faint voice calling me. (I was wearing headphones so EVERYTHING was muffled =.=) Apparantly I was early for class...I was literally O.o, cause I have always been consistently on time/a bit late nowadays...glancing at the school's clock i realised i WAS early...by 5 mins...LOL so anyway class was as usual, we picked off where we left off, learning Switchfoot's "Meant To Live". I gave up trying to bend Lyla's string for ANY song (in case you didn't know, Lyla is my Cort Acoustic guitar XDD) cause it is REALLY painful trying to bend her strings...hence I asked my instructor whether it was possible to get the school's electric guitar...my instructor say it was ok and passed me the white Cort electric...Now I'm gonna get a red Cort Electric guitar soon, but seriously it looks SOOOOO sweet, I wouldnt mind buying it instead of the better red Cort guitar... haha we'll see...so yea we BARELY got passed the opening of the song as my group mate is pretty slow...not that i blame him...i mean...everyone's like that when they start off right?

So anyway after guitar lesson ended at 2, I stayed back and talked to the owner of the school 'bout the gibson guitars i saw online ( OMG 3 THOUSAND dollars for an acoustic....=.=) in an effort to try and like reduce the time spent waiting for my next outing (which was at 5.30). nevertheless...I still walked out of the school and had 2 and a half hour of doing nothing...hence called tohru so as to see whether can join her at her Chinatown Point Event...she said ok and hence i went to the agreed meeting point, outram park station...when i reached there, guess what?apparently the event had finished ( or sucked sooo badly the people wanted to leave =.=), and now her group were heading towards Marina Square. So i hurried over to Marina Square and met up with Tohru and her group...I just love it when i hang out with tohru's group of sgcafe friends...i seem to be able to talk to them better and such....haha so they ate at maac before heading off for a mini photoshoot. Being around you makes the hidden feelings surface, though now to me,you and me will never be together...and only be as close as brother and sister =D

So I left at 5.08 to meet up with Zich and the other Sgcafers for the chicken rice outing.Zich brought us to his father's workplace for one of the best chicken rice i tasted.We talked alot of crap before heading to Orchard because some of them wanted to head to art friend to get "supplies". And that was followed by a walk to Plaza Singapura. During which Konzen another guy and I had a HEATEd debate haha...yea so outing was fun haha...ok...think i shall stop here...update about todya later

I headed for my other outing after that

The Final Hour...{updated}

2008-06-06T08:44:00.007+08:00

hey people...yea i feel emo today, I found something maybe i shouldnt have been curious and clicked on it...but seriously...for some reason...I still care about her...all my friends say since she has already made it clear we cannot be friends, I should just forget her and NOT care...but i realised...that all of the crushes i had since young, I still to a certain degree care about them...yea this sounds like self-praise right...well think whatever you guys want but this how i really feel....If only that dream i had was true...*bangs head*...i sometimes wished...I can turn back time...

anyway today, I came to school @ 8...why? Well apparently, a rock smashed my father's car windscreen...=.= yea...so had to follow my mum for once...i keep hitting my head when getting in and out of her company's car >.< style="font-size:78%;">(more like chubbier XDD)...so yea said hi...I have no recollection of them saying hi back or waving back sigh...i must really be hated by the world....all i can do now is wait till at night...then i can talk to one of the LAST few person that really cares...Lonely is how i feel right now...not just because I'm certain SHE would'nt like me...or that Delight wouldnever be friends wwith me again...but well...i just feel ABSOLUTELY lonely...and a great testimony to this would be my tagg board...i mean in one day as much as 16 ppl can visit this site (Which i again thank you) but only a few ever tags. No, this isn't a ploy to get you to tag. If I really mean something to you,you would leave @ least a tag once in a while right? sigh right now only gman is CONSTANTLY checking my blog...gtg update more later....but I'm sure no one will read it =.=

Holiday Blues?=/ {updated}

2008-06-05T09:42:00.012+08:00

Hello people of the earth! =D today's SORTA my holiday, thanks to NO test being held today. Actually tomorrow SUPPOSEDLY is a holiday as well, but thanks to a particular teacher, theres a CLASS TEST (not common test =.=) being held tomorrow. Sigh,my sad life as a student XDD.

Anyway I JUST woke up. Ok just woke up is not exactly correct. I woke up and played 'Gears Of War', and now I'm in front of my com. Had this weird dream again last night, this time though i vaguely remember it. All I remember this time was Delight, XXXXXX, and Me talking like normal friends! ^-^ How I wish for that to be true...Is it a sign of something to come?or something that I'll NEVER see?Only time will tell I guess..

O and my mother all of a sudden ask me whether I want to work...Under NORMAL circumstances I would jump on the band wagon already...This time however, I cannot decide...This mostly due to the fact I want to go out with XXXXXX at least ONCE, and if i start working, its more than likely that i would not be able to go out...how?

Anyway today's plan is that I (FINALLY) start on my AMP project, and maybe study for the test tomorrow...yup so I'll catch you guys and gals later!

...Update...
hey y'all! yeap today's update is early haha...so anywayx i DID get started on my AMP written assignment haha...anyway nth much happened today except...yea...i took the job offer...hence this as you know, drastically reduces my chances of going ou with her haix...is this the right choice to make?*sniff* and i think i'm catching a cold or something....sigh ...o well might update later again....bye!

OMG WTF WTF!!!!!!! i found Delights blog >.< style="font-size:130%;">

SHIT! I M GETTING EMO...HELP!!!!!STEPH!TOHRU!ANYONE!!

Twisted,Broken Door

2008-06-05T01:39:00.004+08:00

Hey..I'm writing this because i REALLY CANNOT sleep. yea I'm thinking about her still but thats not the only thing keeping me awake now...FOr some reason, Tohru seems REALLY really cold to me...DId i do something wrong Tohru?>.< please tell me...

AND CHERYL LAI! HAVE A SAFE TRIP TO L.A. HOR! AND REMEMBER BUY ME SOMETHNG!!!! ok last part i joking DUN buy hor! I'll Miss YOU ALoT haha!

Negative Two Hour....I can see the light! The Dream, Me and Her

2008-06-04T15:01:00.004+08:00

Hello all! YEAP NOW its 3 DOWN! one more to go!!! Anyway today's test is Aerospace Materials & Processes, and it is supposedly the most difficult test of all...and YES it WAS SOMEWHAT DIFFICULT...haha...well it was ok...passable...i hope haha...

Well I'm gonna summarize what i originally planned to write....caus ei m suffering a MAJOR headache... well I had a dream...a WEIRD ONE... however, the wierd part i'm not going to elaborate, the part i wanted elaborate was on WHO was in my dream...It was some one i never thought i dream about again...=.= Delight...yea...so now i m feeling sorta guilty...i mean...i like XXXXXX but still...sigh....is it right for me to do so?

anyway after the test, went to play abit of basketball with yizhuang den watched taxi with gman....tats all now goin to rest my head....bye y'all!

"Do you like me?" is what i'll ask,
But I know I'll never get the chance.